The Power of Self Worth.
It’s like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and it’s something we all endeavour towards. Most of us want it and want it now but is it truly self-worth that clutching at or are we confusing it with self-gratification?
To know and sense the value of who you are.
Many a time we will try to prove self-worth to ourselves and others by our words and good deed actions. We will project our (perceived) value outwards in hope that others will notice, recognise, spread the word and fingers crossed that it comes back our way. This is how the majority of us will confirm our worth! And if there’s no one listening or it’s just not just being acknowledged, we’ll work a little harder. Finally, exhausted and disillusioned we’ll pause for a moment trying to understand why we’re not feeling valued.
Here’s the rub…
For others to truly value you, you need to value yourself first. You need to build the foundation of self-worth in your inner world so you can stand in it and claim it as yours. Good self-worth is about knowing and being familiar with your values in life – values are like an internal sat nav for when we feel lost or challenged. Boundaries, that you keep in place so that you can look after your needs first and foremost. I’m not referring to your superficial and egoic needs (that’s self-gratification) no, I’m referring to your needs and desires that give you your fire for life. Boundaries are needed so that we don’t over extend ourselves or allow us to be taken advantage of.
Building our self-worth is a continuous journey. Just like with eating well and keeping healthy, it’s a life style and a discipline. To really reap the rewards of our efforts, we need to constantly top up and let it evolve. It’s over time and experiences we get to really see and understand how our self-worth plays out in everyday life. If we don’t make the time to do this and invest in ourselves, then whose job is it to do?
Sometimes we see it as ‘too hard’ and sometimes it is hard, but for many of us with low self-worth, we will place this expectation on another person. Wanting them to fulfil our self-worth quota and I want to point something out here… It’s a HUGE expectation to put on someone else and one where you’ll be constantly disappointed. No one can fulfil this need and desire in us except for our self and it’s starting with the little things that begin to fill that space within.
Low self-worth can present itself in different ways, such as demanding, needing constant reassurance, argumentative, unable to say no or even too scared to say anything. Staying in this state becomes exhausting, leading to stress and anxiety and there’s no joy in this.
So, let’s look at some of the little things that we can do to start building our self-worth:
- Make time daily to sit with your feelings
This is all about giving yourself time and space to acknowledge how you feel, think of it as decompressing. You can do this as a meditation or as mindful exercise. Just find a quiet space where you can sit and just focus on your breath as it slowly goes in down to the navel and out whilst observing your feelings and sensations that move around.
- Think about and write down what you’d like to feel more of on a daily basis
We all know what we don’t want to feel and can describe it in detail. What we forget to do is focus on feelings that keeps are centred. For example, if you have anxiety, what you would want to feel more regularly is calm and relaxed. If you were nervous to express yourself, you may want to feel more often strong and grounded in your body.
- Know your values
As I said above, our values are our internal guidance for when we feel challenged or lost. So, working out your values is a good charge for the mind, heart and body. Write out 10-15 values that are important to you. Then cut them back to 6 and then place your Top 6 Values in order reading them daily.
It’s these little things like above that build and strengthen our self-worth. And that pot of gold being self-worth, is that inner confidence in knowing that you can do it as well as having your own back, inside and out!
You can find out more about Simonne Lee, here.