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Dr Karen Philip’s Call To Humanise Society, Not Segregate Men And Women Behaviourally

https://thecarousel.com/world/dr-karen-philips-call-to-humanise-society-not-segregate-men-and-women-behaviourally/

The last few weeks have been so concerning with consistent, repetitive stories through the media of more women being assaulted, attacked, raped and murdered. Young girls, teenage girls and women, age seems meaningless to these disgusting predators.

Women are told to be more careful, not to walk alone or even after hours, and goodness never walk through a park regardless if it is during the day let alone at night. We women must be more mindful and most certainly should be taught to protect ourselves.

Is this really the right message we want for our children to hear, that women are victims, they need protection because men are predators so beware at all times regardless if it is at home, at work or on the street. This is such a shameful message from every angle.

The abuse of women seems to escalate each decade or is it that women are starting now to speak up and speak out. Perhaps this is it. We have seen the recent ‘Me Too’ campaign raised through all women’s media platforms plus general public news.  While this is wonderful, it will, as most issues do, fade away to distant insignificance.

Women are also told if attacked, to be subservient so you won’t get murdered. We are told to ignore the wolf whistles and comments made daily and most certainly snub the hostile touches and comments when out or at a bar. Disappointingly there seems little around to teach males the appropriate behaviour to use both when in public and behind closed doors.

I have spoken to so many women fearful of bringing a female child into this world, especially after so many females, 1 in 4 according to statistics, who have been sexually assaulted in their life. Women are subjected almost daily, certainly weekly, to comments, innuendo, insults, and pressures from males. Note I do not refer to these males as men as clearly, they fail this test. They are a male gender most certainly not a man, so I will never refer to these barbarians as men.

What do we do as women?

  1. We teach our boys to respect females. No lude comments, no demeaning words, no aggression, ever
  2. We raise our sons in an environment that is loving, kind and respectful of all others
  3. We acknowledge male aggression in our boys buy guiding and teaching them alternate ways to release their anger without lashing out
  4. We set an example and model behaviour we want our children to emulate, both boys and girls

Women are predominantly responsible for raising their children and indeed setting the standards of acceptable behaviour. Mother’s should not be yelling aggressively, smacking or scream at their children, as this teaches aggression as a way to deal with pent-up anger or frustration, never an acceptable outcome.

mums

I recall some 40 years ago now when I was travelling home on a train; it was peak hour afternoon. I was sitting at the end of the carriage where seats face each other and a male, about 30 years old, was seated directly across from me. People were in all seats, others standing, as this male started to make facial and hand comments, licking his lips, using his tongue to invite attention. I looked at him doing this, looked away in disgust as he continued this rancid behaviour. I became furious as he continued these revolting actions directed at me. Others had seen this, a teenage girl being affronted in this manner and no one said a word – so I did. I stood up, took a couple of steps forward and at the top of my voice shouted to him “stop that you disgusting pig or I will poke your beady little eyes out” as I pointed my two fingers at his eyes. A few of those in the carriage smiled at my ‘bravery’. I was disgusted no one, especially the men that saw it, never said a word to this filth sitting there. He departed the carriage at the next stop and disappeared.

I call upon every man to step in and step up if you see, hear or witness this behaviour occurring. Yes, get involved. Get out your phone, take a picture, say some words, let these males know it is unacceptable. The next woman this happens to could be your mother, sister, wife or daughter. Men must start taking a stand against these unacceptable male behaviours.

I call upon every woman out there to start screaming. Scream when approached inappropriately, scream when touched improperly and raise attention to whoever will listen or is around. This is regardless if walking on the street, in the home, at work or enjoying a night out. Males must learn women will no longer remain quiet, subservient or a victim.

Let us humanise society, not segregate men and women behaviourally.

Written by Dr Karen Phillip

Dr Karen Phillip is a counselling psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist specialising in parenting and relationships.
The widely respected author of “Who Runs Your House, the kids or you?’ and ‘OMG We’re Getting Married’ is also in demand as a speaker and regularly appears on TV and radio.

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