For some of us, logic just seems to be a natural skill, we’re strategic and it’s easy for our mind to push through difficult situations and step into a more balanced realm. Our knowing mind is leading us all the way. While for others, emotions are what drives our passions and feeling a connection to life and other people. Then we have that physical grunt. You’re able to work through things by sheer physical energy. You can push your body to amazing limits and you appear to have a good gut instinct.
Whether your natural skill is logic, emotional intelligence or sheer physical stamina and it’s working for you – great! It’s when it stops working you tend to be left in the dark without that flashlight. Here’s where coaching can come into play and assist you in unravelling what’s working and what’s not. A coach is like your own personal flashlight, helping you clarify, redefine and align what you desire and want as you embark on, your own self-discovery. Knowing what parts of your life are working well, you’re happy with and uncovering other parts that you’d like the change to occur.
There are many reasons you may seek out a coach, for example:
- Relationships
- Self-sabotage patterns
- Feel stuck
- Not happy with your career
- Anxious all the time
Now let’s take self-sabotage as an example and see how a coach can work with you.
What does it mean to self-sabotage:
Some may call it procrastination but it’s a more than that. It’s when there is a battle within. A conflict between what we consciously want and an unconscious need to feel safe. We all accumulate self-sabotage patterns from the moment we enter the world and how we experience life. If we’re unable to manage our emotions and thoughts, then the unconscious mind steps in to take control and takes over our actions, our behaviour, our need to feel safe.
Why these patterns occur:
Fear is one of the main factors with self-sabotage. What we can’t handle, whether it be our thoughts, feelings or sensations in the body, our conscious mind goes into overdrive and shuts down, leaving the unconscious mind to take over. Some of these patterns are so ingrained that we may don’t even recognise we have them. It’s like that extra padding of protection that comes out in how we behave. There are many different ways fear can trigger a pattern e.g.
- Not know where we’re going in life
- Of making the wrong decision
- Making a mistake
- Of change
- Not good enough
- Unrealistic goals
- Trauma
How a Life Coach can work with you:
- what we want more of OR what is lacking in our life. Understanding and identifying with our core values gives us (mind, body, and emotions) a reference point to come back when feeling overwhelmed.
- Once we have our core values, then we start addressing our belief system. All behaviour derives from our belief system of how we view our self. Our self-worth is based on how we’ve interpreted life experiences and how we value our self.
- We look at beliefs that support our growth
- Then identify beliefs that limit us from what we desire, that stops our progression moving forward
- Once we have aligned our thoughts, emotions, and body to our core values, tweaked (as I like to say) our belief system to support our growth, then we readdress the goal. We want the goal to be realistic and achievable. The more achievable the goal, the easier it is to really ground these new foundations in our belief system teamed with our core values. Remember, we can break down a goal into mini goals so we get the sense of moving forward, with more safety. Once we’ve experienced more safety, it gets embedded into the unconscious mind.
The exact methods a coach will use will depend on their style. Many will use NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and hypnotherapy as part of the process however it’s the strategy (actions steps) of learning new skills to achieve the goal that creates the momentum.
Learning a new skill doesn’t have to be difficult, it’s about being open to experiencing and doing things differently. So, when you hit that windy road, and everything seems uphill, try a coach to fast-track the learning curve and discover more of who you are and what you want.
The Carousel would like to thank Simonne Lee for her story. For more information, her website is here.
