She may radiate style and sophistication on the red carpet, but former newsreader Jessica Rowe is a self-proclaimed “crap housewife”. However, hoping to prove that you don’t need to be a neat freak to keep your home life happy, here she dishes the dirt on her top tips to save your time, money and sanity in the quest to keep your home some kind of clean.
Born to be a Crap Housewife
“I was born a Crap Housewife!” Jessica admits. “I used to think I had to be perfect and would look at other people’s lives and wonder why I was the only one who didn’t have it together. This sense of inadequacy peaked when my girls were little. However, I realised that no one had it all together all the time, so I started sharing on Instagram my ‘real life’ as a way of having a laugh at myself. I didn’t expect it to resonate with a tribe of fellow Crap Housewives. Now I’m a proud Crap Housewife and I’m passionate about empowering women to embrace their imperfection and celebrate what brings them joy.”
Kitchen chaos
Even the best of us get into sticky situations, and Jessica is no stranger to culinary disasters. “I have endless Crap Housewife disasters!” she laughs. “I used to burn many dinners until my bestie Denise Drysdale was staying one night and told me, ‘For god’s sake, turn the hot plates down! You have everything turned up too high!’ I thought it would cook faster!” Since then, Jessica’s dinners have been less crispy, with a focus on “low and slow.”
In another classic mishap, she recalls a dinner that was memorable for all the wrong reasons. “I managed to cook the plastic packaging that came with a gourmet-style leg of lamb I’d bought at the supermarket. And I didn’t discover this until after everyone had eaten! I was terrified I’d poisoned the family…”
Sweeping things under the rug
As a busy working mum, Jessica’s approach to time management revolves around letting go of unrealistic expectations. “First of all, take the pressure off! As comedian Phyllis Diller said, ‘Housework can’t kill you. But why take the chance?’” She advises letting go of the need for a spotless home and instead, focusing on what brings joy. “My top laundry hack – aside from having a husband that loves to do the washing – is the new Vanish Gold Pro! It removes the toughest stains in 30 minutes and at 20°C, reducing stress and helping us spend less time in the laundry.”
The magic of meal prep
When it comes to feeding the family, Jessica has learned a few tricks along the way. “Mince is magic! You can’t overcook it, and you can reinvent it night after night. Last night’s spag bol can become tacos or nachos or shepherd’s pie. The list is endless!”
She also embraces convenience in the kitchen. “I like to use jars of sauce and packets of things – anything that saves time. Anything pre-crumbed is a winner too!” Even the family’s trusty air fryer has had its moments. “I did get caught out recently when I put sausages in it… there was a lot of smoke coming out the back, which set the smoke alarms off! This always seems to tie in with when Pete comes home from work!”
Coming clean on clutter
When it comes to organisation, Jessica admits it’s not her strong suit. “I love clutter, so I’m not the best person to ask advice on this one. Unfortunately, when I apply the Marie Kondo phrase, ‘Does this spark joy?’ I find that it all sparks joy for me. So perhaps it comes back to being gentle on yourself about not feeling the pressure to be organised and clutter-free.”
Self care and wiping the slate clean
Finally, Even with a full schedule, Jessica tries to make room for herself. “I think if you ask any mum, they would say that we don’t put ourselves first. Too often, we look after everyone around us and forget about what we need. I still do that. But I do try to carve out time for myself. I love reading, so I get immense joy reading my Kindle in bed while everyone else is asleep. I also try to do Pilates once a week. But I know I could do better with looking after myself.”
Jessica’s final words of wisdom? “Take the pressure off yourself. No one has the perfect life or perfect family. I know my laundry can reach breaking point! Life can be messy and complicated with spag bol stains and all the other joys that being busy can bring to your life. But there are ways to make it more manageable, for instance. Do something every day that brings you joy. What brought me joy today was wearing bright blue eyeshadow. Remember, you are enough.”
To celebrate the launch of the innovative new range, Vanish is hosting a competition until EOD Tuesday 15 October 2024, where customers can win a prepaid Mastercard valued at AU $10,000. To enter, Aussies can join Crap Housewife Jessica Rowe in sharing their Vanish Victories by submitting their before and after stain removal photos using Vanish Gold Pro.
