So many of us were overjoyed to hear the news that Sonia Kruger is 16 weeks pregnant with her first child. Many couples can relate to Sonia and her partner Craig McPherson’s story of hope, setbacks and heartbreak on the fertility roller coaster. Women tell me that while trying to fall pregnant, they can spend two weeks of every month feeling hopeful and trying to contain excitement and the other two weeks in the depths of despair and hopelessness.
Humans don’t cope well with being in limbo and struggling with fertility issues often feels like being limbo. It’s very difficult to move on with your life and be grateful for what you have when you desperately want a baby. Many of us also have trouble when we are not in control and riding the ups and downs of infertility and IVF often feels uncontrollable.
When a woman miscarries, she commonly grieves for loss of that baby, even if it is an early miscarriage. But when you are in your 40s, there is no time to grieve. There’s the next cycle to focus on and so many decisions to make. Everyone has their opinion on what you’re doing; so many women choose to keep their journey very private. But that can lead to feeling isolated, especially if everyone around you seems to fall pregnant easily.
Then there are the ever-present judging panel. Those people who judge others for the decisions they make such as having a baby later in life. The one thing that a woman in her 40s who is doing everything she can to have a baby knows and that’s her age – in years, if not months. She does not need us to calculate how old she’ll be when the longed for child turns 21.
Women (and men) who struggle with fertility issues need our understanding and support. It’s often a very long and difficult journey. And for those who are able to conceive and carry that baby to term, we need to rejoice in their happiness, and wish them all the very best.
Did you fall pregnant in your mid-late 40s? Tell us about your experience below…