It seems strange and incomprehensible, but sometime in the near future, the issues you have now and worry about most, will be the things you laugh hysterically about with your friends later on.
It’s true. Being considered cool by others requires you to follow a simple formula. First of all you need to like yourself and be confident. If you don’t like you, nobody else will. Secondly, you need to start doing whatever it is you like doing. If you’re spending your time doing things that you like, people will naturally be drawn to you.
In life, people generally lead, follow or get in the way of the ones trying to lead or follow. Whatever you do, don’t get in the way because that’s just embarrassing. The great thing about being at this stage in your life is that you get to discover who you are, and the process can be so much fun. If you try to be more like yourself rather than a mixture of everyone else in your group, the likely result will be more friends and more confidence.
Sometimes girls will morph into the image of whomever they’re dating at the time. For instance, they become obsessed with tanning if their boyfriend surfs, purchase all the black eye-liner they can carry if their boyfriend listens to death-metal music and get piercings everywhere if their boyfriend looks like a Christmas tree, for whatever reason! It’s never the other way around because so many girls are too scared about what other people may think of them if they try to be themselves.
Sure, you can’t know what flavour you like the best until you’ve taken a bite out of all the chocolates in the box, but that’s the beauty of it all—you become who you are because of the experiences you have along the way. Don’t rush, just have more experiences and get to know and like the person you are. Then, all of a sudden you’ll find that you have acquired all the acceptance you need to be able to focus on other things… like shoes.
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” —Lao Tzu
Ten steps to projecting confidence:
- Practice good manners.
- Maintain eye contact with people you speak to.
- Perfect your handshake.
- Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
- Avoid slouching when seated.
- Hold your head up and look forward rather than at the ground.
- Take pride in your appearance.
- Say please and thank you frequently.
- Avoid fidgeting, arm crossing and other types of closed body language.
- Demonstrate attractive behaviour by being considerate.
This is an extract of the book #GIRLCODE –The Secret to Success in a Digital World By Michaela Launerts.