When Kayley Harris, the host of the Daily Drive show on the new Talking Lifestyle radio network, turned 50 in 2014 she took comfort in the knowledge that eventually we all reach the same pivotal milestone.
“All those people who mock you turning 50 will also turn 50 one day and when they do, you’ll be so comfortable in the space that you can just give them that sly, knowing look and laugh,” reasons Kayley, below.
Here are just a few of Kayley’s favourite upsides to hitting the big Five-Oh.
1. Get out of stuff
You can use one of two excuses here. Firstly, you’re too tired because you’re old or, secondly, you can’t make that event because you have to pick up one of the teenagers who is too drunk to drive home
2. Move into a retirement village for some peace and quiet
I’ve seriously been considering this for years. Think about it – you can buy a two-bedroom unit in a retirement village for $400K and you never have to leave! There’s built-in entertainment by way of craft classes and line-dancing and there’s no maintenance! Plus, there’s no neighbours having wild parties all night and no barking dogs!
3. Your kids can dress, drive and pay for themselves
Hopefully by this stage this is the case. If one of them doesn’t drive, the older ones can pick them up! They can pay for their own clothes and social activities because THEY HAVE A JOB!! Woohoo!
4. Dye your hair pink
When I become a grandma, the first thing I’m doing is getting a military-style buzz cut and dyeing it bright pink. I want to be the cool, crazy granny and people will just assume I’ve lost my marbles.
5. Wear your tracky dacks to the shops
It’s true that you become invisible when you turn 50 and people expect you to wear daggy clothes to the shops with stains down the front where you’ve dribbled your morning cup of tea. Plus, they’ll let you go ahead of you in the check-out queue and maybe, if you say you don’t have enough money to pay for your groceries cause your pension cheque didn’t come, the person behind might pay for you!
6. You’re wise – dispense advice even if you’re not asked for it
This is my personal favourite. I love starting a sentence with “back in my day” just to annoy any young person close by. My elderly mother is the queen of this technique not allowing anyone in the family to attempt anything in the kitchen without her saying “you might find it easier if you do it this way……”
7. Don’t sweat the small stuff
If you’re cranky about something ask yourself, ‘Is this going to matter a week, a month, a year from now or when I’m lying on my death bed?’ No? Then just laugh it off; things have a way of working themselves out.
8. Going to bed early
After years of shift work and needing to go to bed anytime between 6-9pm, I just tell people now that my body is locked into that routine and I can’t change it.
9. People don’t expect that you’ve seen I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Outa Here!
When everyone at work (who is under 25) asks you who you think will get voted out, you can confidently say “I don’t watch that crap, I was watching Four Corners”, and that’s acceptable.
10. Flat Shoes!
Finally not having to wear heels. In fact, you look weird in six-inch heels when you’re over 50. If you don’t want to go completely flat, just drop down to a “sensible” heel.
- Kayley Harris from Fifty Up Club hosts the Daily Drive show 5pm-7pm weekdays on the new Talking Lifestyle radio network. Listen in Sydney on 954AM, in Melbourne on 1278AM, or in Brisbane on 882AM.
This post was last modified on 08/08/2020 11:58 am