‘Are there any chinks in this bloke’s armour?’ you’ve collectively decried since he first pulled on the world’s most feared jersey in 2001.
The short answer to that, after countless drubbings at his gifted hands, is a resounding NO, there’s not!
Despite all the bravado from the Wallabies this week, I’d swap Australia’s questionable rights to Kiwi icons Phar Lap, Pavlova and Crowded House, just to have 30 minutes of the Richie factor in the Big Show.
Gracious in those rare defeats and humble to a fault in his many victories, King Richie is like a cross between Chistian Bale’s brooding Batman, Gerald Butler’s merciless Spartan warrior in 300, and a religious messiah.
Rumour has it he once hiked up Everest in his shorts, singlet and jandals for charity, and then built an orphanage for the monks single-handedly on his return. Google it if you don’t believe me.
He even turned down a Knighthood recently because he didn’t fancy the pomp and ceremony.
For those who watch for the love of sport, Richie simply embodies everything that’s so special about playing for your country – something that sports stars like tennis brat Nick Kyrgios are so clearly lacking.
Although far from the most gifted athlete, Richie never leaves any ounce of energy or commitment in the sheds. Always bloodied and marked from the first whistle, he fearlessly leads from the front and the team follows to the last breathless second; it’s as simple as that.
Of course, for his many female fans it doesn’t hurt that the 1.88m open-side flanker is easy on the eye. At least that’s the resounding mood in The Carousel office this week.
“There are only two reasons I watch rugby; Richie McCaw and Dan Carter [his equally genetically-blessed teammate],” gushes The Carousel publisher Robyn Foyster about the Kiwi who’s topped every Sexiest Man list going across the ditch.
The 34-year-old Richie has had a string of mostly sporty girlfriends over the years, but until recently has been more devoted to the game than settling down.
But now he’s reputedly all loved-up with New Zealand hockey star Gemma Flynn and speculation is growing that a wedding isn’t far off after he plays his last game in black this weekend.
Come to think of it, Dan Carter is also hooked up with a New Zealand hockey star. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
They’re breeding a super-team of All Blacks – Evil Genius!
At least Australia can still beat New Zealand in the cricket…can’t they?
By James Graham, a Sydney-based Kiwi
This post was last modified on 01/11/2015 9:08 am