Leading Australian social researcher and commentator Neer Korn says Australian mothers are feeling overwhelmed, guilty, judged, and unappreciated!
His social trends and consumer insights measurement company, The Korn Group recently completed an in-depth analysis on the attitudes and behaviours of Aussie mums (specifically mums of 0-6 year-olds).
The study cuts to the bone of what motherhood really looks like from the eyes of today’s mums.
The results of Neer’s analysis have shone a light on the key issues Australian Mums are facing, from antiquated “house wife” traditions, to a world not as gender equal as 2016 claims to be.
“Truly, no one works harder than Mums and it is time they got some proper thanks for that,” he says.
Here are Neer’s key findings – it’s gritty, honest and eye-opening.
1. Motherhood is women’s work
Although there is still a disparity of equality between the genders, set parenting roles are slowly diminishing and equality has begun defining modern homes. So if dads are becoming more involved, then why are mums still feeling frustrated? Well, Neer found that the vast majority of interviewees still considered parenting largely as ‘woman’s work’. Dads are stepping up to some extent, but across the board few mums’ experience solid parenting assistance. Mum’s are the ones keeping a running spread sheet in their heads of all the family’s needs. Men still don’t do that. In reality the bulk of parenting responsibilities is still falling on women.
2. Guilt is innate to motherhood
Mothers aspire to not care, and can often recognise their misplaced guilt but being able to shake it off is another thing. The pressure to be the perfect mum seems intense, especially for first time mums. Letting go of these impossible expectations is liberating. It’s no surprise that mums love media, like Nina Proudman’s character in Offspring, which celebrates imperfections.
3. Online mothers’ groups are real communities
Real life mothers’ groups still exist but their form and objectives has just shifted radically. These groups now exist largely in the digital world. From highly active social media groups to influential female bloggers and online discussion boards – these digital playgrounds are now the intimate spaces where the minutia of mothering is explored, discussed and debated. The ideas and experiences of other women in similar circumstances, is credible and reassuring.
4. Wish they relied on instinct
The study also found that mums wish they just trusted themselves more. There’s too much advice and information out there, often espousing contradictory viewpoints. Making sense of it all can be exhausting. They know their kids, they want what’s best for them and so they wish they weren’t so afraid to go with their gut feelings.
5. Their greatest wish is time
The universal wish and ultimate luxury of Australian mums is for more time. Life is just too hectic and they simply can’t fit everything in properly. When asked to think of something practical that would improve their lives they came up with time saving devises that will better enable them to spend time with their kids and focus their attention on them. Mother’s also reported the need for some me time, time away for themselves. Any opportunity to recharge their batteries, even short ones like a cup of tea or getting their nails done, are deemed necessity. Their most common outlet is exercise, which is guilt free, and time alone.