Forget keying his car or slashing his tyres (unless you want a criminal record). There’s a much more mature way to get revenge on the ex who broke your heart this Valentine’s Day. Without breaking the law…
The Louisville Nature Center in Kentucky is leading the trend of catharsis for a cause by offering scorned lovers the chance to name a cockroach after their ex and watch Francis, a yellow-bellied slider turtle, gobble it up. Not only do you get to experience the joy of seeing your ex’s name devoured, but your donation will go toward improving Francis’ habitat. It’s revenge with a side of charity – and a whole lot of satisfaction. Similarly, for a small donation, San Antonio Zoo’s “Cry Me a Cockroach” fundraiser allows you to name a cockroach and feed it to the animals on-site.
If a cockroach doesn’t quite do the trick, consider naming a super worm at the Columbus Zoo after the dude (or diva) who did you dirty. For $US15, you can name the worm after your ex, and the sloth bears will devour it, as they absolutely love them. A special Valentine’s Day video will capture the bears enjoying the snack, making it feel even more satisfying.
Want to kick it up a notch? why not go for a rodent? For a mere $US25, you can name a rat after your ex and let a zoo resident (maybe a snake or porcupine?) snack on your bitter memories. Either option offers a cheeky way to get back at your former lover – and with each name, you’ll be supporting the zoo’s conservation efforts.
Alternatively, if your ex deserves something a little… more organic, for just $US10, the Fort Worth Zoo in Texas will dedicate a pound of animal poop in their honour through their “Doo Some Good” campaign.
Finally, for those who would prefer to forgo the animal revenge route, visiting a rage room offers a more socially acceptable way to let off steam. Closer to home businesses like Smash Lab and Rage Cage are excellent options where heartbroken individuals can come in and let their anger out.
And, if all else fails? Live your best life and give time karma do its thing. Afterall, revenge really is a dish best served cold (and looking smoking hot!) …
