Christmas – a magical time of year when you’re showered with gifts, treated to banquets of festive food and, well, surrounded by loved-up couples and family members who enjoy dishing out the Spanish Inquisition on your love life! Yes, flying solo at Christmas time can be somewhat testing on one’s single ego.
Get a grip people! Negativity isn’t a good colour on anyone, so we’re saying EMBRACE YOUR SINGLEDOM this Christmas and make the most of being footloose and fancy-free – there are more benefits that you think! From not having to worry about splitting your Christmas day between the in-laws, to treating yourself with gifts and self-spoils and upping the ante on appreciating your your family and friends…a single Christmas can be the bomb if you put the right spin on it!
Here’s some great advice from eHarmony’s dating and relationship expert Melanie Schilling about kicking some festive butt this year as a single person; “Singles should embrace social situations with confidence, an open mind and positivity, particularly at this time of the year. They have control of their thoughts and it’s their choice whether to act like the left-out single friend or the real life of the party!”
So if you are sans partner, then I’d be rocking out the holiday season with these tips.
Being single means you’ll have the freedom to choose where you want to celebrate and who you want to celebrate with. Take advantage of this and accept every invitation (or most at least) that comes your way. Christmas day aside, make it your mission to be extra social over the holidays. Whether it is attending your crazy Uncle’s family barbecue, an old friend’s house gathering or cocktails with the girls, it’s important to make the effort and surround yourself with positive people you enjoy being around.
And you never know – you might even meet someone special just by putting yourself out there.
Embrace the single life
Conversations revolving around your love life and relationship status are often inescapable during the Christmas period. Rather than trying to dodge the question, make an effort to be the first one in the group to bring up the topic. Humour works well in this instance, too. For example, “Ben sends his regards too but he just couldn’t make it, he’s so busy!” or “At least I didn’t have to fight about whose parents to spend the day with!”
Owning this area means that you can enjoy the remainder of your Christmas celebrations without waiting nervously for the inevitable to be discussed. Whilst these conversations can seem invasive and frustrating at times, know that any commentary from loved ones on your current relationship status comes from a good place.
Just because you don’t have a partner to spoil you with gifts, it doesn’t mean you can’t spoil yourself! Think about how well you have done at work over the year, or how you’ve really excelled in one of your 2014 resolutions, and treat yourself because you deserve it.
And the best part? Not only will you love the gift, you won’t have to return the gesture.
Focus on what you want
Use the holiday break to reflect on what you’re looking for in a partner. Adopting the role of the ‘social butterfly’ brings the advantage of observing the behaviours of those around you. Taking note of the way couples interact with one another during Christmastime could help you identify what traits you would (or wouldn’t) like in a partner, giving you a greater awareness of individuals that could be a perfect match for you.
Appreciate loved ones in your life
Being single during Christmas means you don’t need to worry about the delicate balance of splitting time between your family and your partner’s. So rather than dwelling on what you don’t have, take the time to fully appreciate everything you do have. Whether it is your parents, grandparents, siblings, nieces, nephews or friends, embrace the fact that you have people in your life who are grateful to have you in theirs.
Above all, remember to stay positive! “Negativity is a terrible colour on anyone and starts a downward spiral that won’t help you find love in the long run,” says Schilling. “If you tell yourself the silly season is going to be a disaster, it probably will be. Instead, tell yourself: “I can’t wait to chat to new people, have ‘me’ time and relax these holidays.””
And, you never know, the more you embrace being single at Christmas and put the self-contented vibe out to the universe…the more you just might attract a Mr (or Mrs) Darcy into your world!