If you’re thinking about proposing this year, this will help you give your partner a ring they truly love.
For something that symbolises one of the most life-changing moments in your life, the answer on how much you should spend is different for every couple. There is no longer one rule that acts as a benchmark for everyone.
With the rising cost of living and increasing challenges around housing affordability, getting engaged and deciding what to spend on a ring has become far more considered than it once was. It is no longer a simple decision.
The Origin of the Engagement Ring
The idea of a diamond engagement ring is not new. Some trace it back to ancient Egypt, while others point to 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring. But for most of us today, the modern expectation was shaped in 1947, when De Beers introduced the phrase A Diamond is Forever. Alongside it came the marketing message that a man should spend one month’s salary on an engagement ring.
After helping more than 10,000 couples begin their journey towards marriage, there is one question I get asked more than any other.
“How much should I spend?”
As a light hearted joke, I will often say, “three months’ salary, before tax and including bonuses”, which usually gets a laugh.
The reality is that the old rules simply do not apply anymore. Over the last few years, the diamond industry has experienced significant disruption, particularly with the introduction of laboratory-grown diamonds.
Couples today are able to acquire a significantly larger diamond engagement ring than they ever thought was possible before. What once felt out of reach is now far more accessible, which has naturally shifted expectations around size and value.
At the same time, couples today are making more considered financial decisions. For many, a budget of $4,000 to $7,000 is realistic and appropriate. For others, spending $10,000, $15,000 or more feels right. For some, there is also a genuine sense of pride in knowing that what they are gifting their partner carries both emotional and symbolic value that reflects the importance of the moment. Neither approach is better or worse. It simply comes down to what aligns with your priorities and stage of life.
Creating a Ring That Tells Your Story
But what I genuinely believe is this. If a picture tells a thousand words, then your jewellery is like a lifetime of memories and stories. One of my greatest joys as a jewellery designer is to be a co-creator with my clients helping them find ways to personalise their engagement ring so it becomes truly meaningful to them, rather than something that feels like it came out of a gumball vending machiner.
Sometimes, it is incorporating a favourite gemstone into the design like a sapphire. Or for others is a hidden engraving, even set with a small diamond inside it. One recent client engraved the words, “forever looks good on you” inside the band, with a diamond set in the O. It is those details that transform a ring into something deeply personal. It is what I call the roller coaster moment.
Does Size Really Matter? Or Is It About What Lasts
When a couple is choosing an engagement ring, they are often deciding between quality and size within a given budget. Do you value origin, or the physical real estate on the hand? Are you looking to maximise size and quality within a set price range, or are you looking for something that aligns with your values? These are the real questions shaping decisions today.
What has also changed is the structure of the ring itself. With laboratory-grown diamonds becoming more accessible, in some cases the centre stone is no longer the most valuable component. For couples looking to create something truly personal, the craftsmanship of a master jeweller and a handcrafted ring designed to stand the test of time can be more valuable than the diamond itself. There is a growing distinction between bespoke, handcrafted engagement rings with jewellers onsight and lightweight, mass-produced pieces that may not last beyond a decade.
Choosing the Right Jeweller: Trust, Legacy and the Experience That Follows
It is also about finding the right jeweller for you. Do you value working with a business that has a long-standing legacy and history? Do you value strong warranties and after-service support? Have you taken the time to look at their online reputation, their Google reviews, and what past clients say about their experience? A warranty from a business that has been operating for three to five years does not carry the same weight as one from a jeweller who has been crafting rings for 50 years.
The Changing Diamond Market; Why Spending Less Is Rarely the Regret
Laboratory-grown diamonds have fallen significantly in price over the past few years. At the same time, natural diamonds have also softened, dropping by around 40 percent in the last 18 months. For those drawn to natural diamonds, this has created a unique moment where they are more accessible than they have been in recent years. Not as an investment, but as something meaningful that can be passed down through generations.
One piece of advice I give to clients who are preparing to propose is this. Do not give a budget range of $5,000 to $10,000. What can be created at $10,000 is very different to what can be created at $5,000. After more than three decades in the diamond industry, I can say with complete confidence that I have never had a client come back a few months later and wish they had spent less or chosen a smaller diamond.
It’s Not the Surprise, It’s the Memory You Create
The piece of advice I give to many partners is that, in most cases, your partner already knows a proposal is coming. What matters most is that you make it memorable. Proposing is one of those rare moments in life that you only get to do once. There are no second chances. Take the time to think about what you want to say. Write it down. Practise it. Because no matter how confident you feel, the moment you get down on one knee, everything tends to disappear.
When I proposed to my wife and was deciding how much to spend, I made a simple decision. I spent every dollar I had in my bank account. Looking back, I would not change a thing. Not because of the amount, but because I knew I had done the absolute best I could for her with what I had at the time. That sense of pride stays with me as I am sure it will with you..
A Principle Worth Remembering
I remember seeing a sign on a workshop door with a quote often attributed to Benjamin Franklin:
“The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.”
An engagement ring is not like a bottle of wine. It is not something that gets better in ten years’ time. If you find the right jeweller who understands you, who can personalise both the experience and the design, and who is the right fit for you, you will never regret going that little bit further.
So the final thoughts I want to leave with you to consider before proposing.
Think about and be clear on how much you want to spend on an engagement ring?
Spend what makes you feel proud.
Spend what feels aligned with your life and values, not someone else’s rule.
Spend what reflects the significance of the moment.
Because in the end, it is not the price of the ring that defines the moment, it is the meaning behind it. Choose something that tells your story, reflects your intention, and feels right for both of you. When you do that, you will never question what you spent, only remember how it felt.
