Young people are navigating exam pressure, social media, climate anxiety, cost-of-living stress and an increasingly uncertain future, so the idea of teaching teenagers “leadership” can sound ambitious or even old-fashioned.
But according to Australian educator and author Dr Tim Hawkes OAM, leadership is not about raising teenagers to chase power, status or attention. It is about helping them build character, resilience, responsibility and purpose.
“The type of leadership needed is not a narcissistic quest for significance,” says Dr Hawkes. “Neither is it the self-serving sort of leadership that is endemic in contemporary politics. What society is crying out for is authentic leadership.”
Dr Hawkes knows a thing or two about shaping young minds. He has taught in England and Australia for more than 35 years, served as a headmaster for much of that time, and is the author of Ten Conversations You Must Have With Your Son and Ten Leadership Lessons You Must Teach Your Teenager. His leadership book explores how parents can help teenagers bring leadership into everyday life, with lessons on making good choices, following the right examples, finding a calling, working with a team, building strategy and learning discipline.
And his message for parents is clear: leadership can be taught.
“Research indicates that between a half to three-quarters of leadership skills can be taught,” says Dr Hawkes. “The rest are inherited. This is important to realise lest we lapse into the stupor of doing nothing to improve the lives of our young.”
Why Teenagers Need Leadership Skills Now
Today’s teenagers are growing up in a very different world to the one their parents knew. Mental health remains one of the biggest issues facing young Australians. Mission Australia’s 2025 Youth Survey found that mental health was among the top national concerns for young people, while 39 per cent reported stress related to mental health and wellbeing.
The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare also reports that around 14 per cent of young people aged 12 to 17 experienced a mental disorder in the previous 12 months, with anxiety disorders and ADHD among the most common conditions.
This is where leadership education can play a surprisingly practical role. Not because every teenager needs to become a school captain, CEO or public figure, but because leadership helps young people practise the skills they need to cope with life: self-control, empathy, discipline, courage, service and decision-making.
“A well-designed leadership course can help realise potential and develop resilience,” says Dr Hawkes. “If you cannot take control of your own life, then you are not going to be able to lead others.”
Leadership Is Not Always Loud
One of the most refreshing parts of Dr Hawkes’ approach is that he challenges the idea that leadership has to be grand, public or impressive.
“Leadership is not necessarily about conquering a kingdom before breakfast and an empire before dinner,” he says. “It can be expressed supporting the lonely, controlling the angry and posting an encouraging note on social media.”
That message is particularly powerful for teenagers who may not see themselves as “natural leaders”. The quiet teenager who includes someone sitting alone, the sporty teenager who encourages a struggling teammate, the creative teenager who uses social media to uplift rather than tear down — all are practising leadership.
“These small initiatives should not be underestimated,” says Dr Hawkes. “Collectively they determine the health of a nation.”
Teach Purpose Before Power
For parents, the challenge is to help teenagers understand that leadership is less about status and more about service.
Dr Hawkes argues that young people need to be reminded they have gifts and abilities that should be used not only to enrich themselves, but society.
“Our young need to be challenged to acquire the traits of a leader,” he says. “They need to be reminded that they are a miracle of creation, that they have unique gifts and abilities that should be used not only to enrich themselves, but society in general.”
That begins at home. Parents can encourage leadership by giving teenagers real responsibilities, asking for their opinions, letting them make age-appropriate decisions, and helping them reflect on mistakes without humiliation.
It can also mean asking better questions at the dinner table:
What kind of person do you want to be?
Who do you admire, and why?
Where could you be more courageous?
How could you help someone this week?
What does success look like beyond marks, money or popularity?
Schools Have A Role, Too
Dr Hawkes believes schools also need to remember their wider purpose.
“In an age that sees schools assailed by accountability measures such as league tables and NAPLAN tests, there can be a temptation for schools to concentrate on those things that are publicly reported,” he says.
“This would be a betrayal of our task as educators. We should not just be preparing our students for an exam. We should be preparing our students for life.”
That is a line worth remembering. Academic results matter, but they are not the whole story. A teenager who learns how to lead with integrity, work in a team, recover from setbacks and serve others is gaining an education that will last long after the exam papers are forgotten.
How Parents Can Start At Home
You do not need a formal leadership course to begin. Parents can help teenagers build leadership skills in simple, everyday ways:
Encourage responsibility. Give teenagers meaningful tasks and let them experience the satisfaction of being trusted.
Talk about values. Discuss honesty, courage, kindness, discipline and service as real-life choices, not abstract ideas.
Model resilience. Let them see you handle mistakes, disappointment and pressure with perspective.
Praise effort and character. Notice when they show initiative, empathy or persistence, not just when they achieve.
Encourage service. Volunteering, helping neighbours, mentoring younger siblings or supporting a friend can all teach leadership.
Let them lead something small. Whether it is organising a family meal, planning an outing or managing a school project, leadership grows through practice.
The Takeaway
The best teenage leaders are not necessarily the loudest, most popular or most confident. They are the ones learning to be responsible for themselves and useful to others.
As Dr Hawkes reminds us, leadership is not about raising teenagers who seek power. It is about raising young people with purpose.
And in a world that often feels short on wisdom, courage and compassion, that may be one of the most important lessons parents can teach.
