This isn’t The Bachelor, girlfriend; you put those cosmetically tattooed eyebrows on the line, or there’s no place for you around the celebrity campfire!
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!But then almost overnight, the surgically-enhanced, say-the-first-thing-that-comes-into-her head fashion designer from Melbourne won me over.
Love her, or love to loathe her, there’s no denying this girl has bigger kahunas than the baboon tarantula she so fearlessly caressed in her moisturised hand last night.
Week-after-week she’s bounded through an unprecedented number of ‘Tucker Trials’, in which viewers vote to push a celebrity into drinking vomit-inducing jungle concoctions, or as Laurina so bravely did in one episode, lie in a pit of angry snakes.
Each time she’s emerged the victor, and in the process, thumbed her nose at the most-dangerous critters of all – her fellow contestants.
Maybe it was the episode in which fierce rival Jo Beth Taylor flicked her the finger for hogging the mirror that turned me. Or was it Anthony Callea having one of his many Laurina-inspired tantrums?
Doesn’t really matter.
What I really admire about Laurina is that for someone so unreservedly proud of her many surgical enhancements she’s got a skin thicker than a rhino.
Her rivals have plotted, conspired and marginalised her from Day One (with the exception of you Chief).
But there she proudly stood, with a grin a mile wide as she gave A-lister Shane Warne the obligatory bum tap through the jungle exit last night.
With nothing to prove, and no tarnished image to resurrect, Laurina is now the last woman standing.
Even one of her fiercest rivals in those rocky first days, Brendan Fevola, has begrudgingly come around to realise there’s more Tarzan in this Princess than Jane.
To borrow the fighting words of her former Bachelor rival, Sam Frost, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…Laurina has got this.
