In this serialisation of Lonely Planet’s latest book, Women Travel Solo, writer Jessica Nabonga perfectly depicts her own journey as a woman who loves travelling by herself, and why.
I have visited every country in the world: all 193 United Nations members and the two non-member observer states. I’ve also been to Antarctica and all 50 US states. The best part? I have done most of it solo! I have travelled to over 100 countries and explored more than half of the US on my own. These places include Iran, Kansas, North Dakota, Venezuela, Maine, Guatemala, Nebraska, South Sudan and so many more where people would try to convince me, you, and everyone else that one shouldn’t travel alone. While I do not often purposely travel solo, my bucket list is too long to wait for anyone.
How did I come to possess this insatiable wanderlust?!
Surely my parents played a role; I have been travelling internationally with my family since I was four years old. They love to travel and made it an integral part of my childhood. Surely it was the normalisation of summer holidays that has left me thirsting for my next trip, even 40 years later. Yet neither of my sisters travel as much as I do, and this was before their two respective children started taking up their time and financial resources. Perhaps it is an obsession, or maybe an addiction – I stopped trying to figure it out long ago. What I do know is that I love to travel, and whether or not I have someone to go with has no bearing on my global and domestic adventures!
My journey to every country in the world
My family holidays took us to Canada, the UK, Uganda, Jamaica, Mexico, the Bahamas, and the Cayman Islands. Domestically we were no strangers to road trips or flights. I still remember my first trip to Disney World when I was just six years old, back when a trip from Detroit to Orlando came with a meal in economy! I recall visiting California with my father and sister while my mother was in Uganda. I remember camping with my cousins in Michigan and road trips to Ohio, DC, Chicago, and Minnesota. We were always going somewhere, but the one constant was my family.
Thanksgiving 2007
I was working a corporate job and decided to treat myself to a nice European holiday. I had only ever been to the UK – albeit many times – so this was somewhat new territory: I planned to visit London, Paris, and Madrid. While I’d be meeting friends in each city, I would be arriving alone. The first leg of the trip, from Detroit to London, would also be my first time flying across the Atlantic solo. I was 23 and had no clue how I would survive an eight-hour flight on my own. I wasn’t scared, but I was unsure. Having been to London a number of times before and knowing my cousin was picking me up from the airport, I at least had that comfort.
After eight hours, a couple of movies, a nap, and a short conversation with my seatmate, I arrived in London and a sense of confidence washed over me. I had been on domestic flights by myself before, but this was new, conquered territory. I made it from London to Paris, then to Madrid, and back to Detroit – solo! I felt like I had an ‘S’ on my chest!
Building Confidence Through Solo Travel
And this is the thing about solo travel – it builds your confidence. While it may be scary at first – as many new experiences can be – you walk a little taller afterwards because you did something you maybe never thought you would, or something other people told you that you couldn’t. Since that first flight to London, I have taken countless solo trips, and the more I travelled alone, the more confident I became. I love exploring places and creating memories with my family and friends, but their absence doesn’t stop this show.
One of my favourite solo vacations
One of my favourite solo vacations took me to Bhutan, a tiny kingdom in the Himalayan mountains. It was one of my most recent trips, and it was phenomenal from start to finish. Bhutan has never been invaded, and its culture remains well preserved – a byproduct of deliberate government action. They did not have television in the country until 1998. The culture here runs deep, and the nature is beautiful. When I stepped out of the airport I was met with the purest air that I have ever inhaled, and the lush beauty of the mountains surrounding the Paro Valley.
I spent the majority of my five days in the country with my guide, Tshewang. He met me at the airport and, as is customary, greeted me with a bit of rice wine. We became fast friends, and one of our first adventures was an intense four-hour hike to Taktshang Goemba, the ‘Tiger’s Nest’, a stunning cliffside monastery. We completed half of the hike in pouring rain; after trying to wait out the weather under some trees, Tshewang insisted we just go, remarking, ‘You must just accept it.’ In five days, we did it all, from enjoying super-spicy local food (which he tried to warn me about) to trying archery (where he translated advice from some elderly men who were standing by), and exploring dzongs (Bhutan’s fortified monasteries) in blistering heat. Being solo in Bhutan allowed me to get to know both Tshewang and Bhutanese culture deeply. For me, this is the greatest joy of solo travel: the opportunity to dive into the culture by building relationships with local people. I learn their stories, experience the food, and pick up some of the language. I get to know the place in a way I simply can’t when travelling with others.
Pack Your Bags and Go! A Little Advice
Solo female travel is steadily on the rise. Women globally are realising that the world is in fact our oyster – so why not go out and see it? The patriarchy has tried to convince us that the world is unsafe unless we are accompanied by men, but that simply isn’t true. The white supremacist system has also tried to convince Black people specifically, and people of colour broadly, that the world is not safe for us. I am here to tell you: THESE ARE ALL LIES!
I am an unmistakably African woman and the few scary travel incidents I’ve experienced were in Miami, Paris, and Rome, places most don’t think twice about visiting. So go forth and see the world, people!
You are probably wondering: how do I stay safe? Where do I get my confidence? How can you make this work for you? First, make your adventures yours! Get inspired by people you follow on social media or by books written by inspiring women (hint hint!). Take what you need, but tailor it to your life and interests. People I meet often ask me for recommendations on where they should go, and I say: ‘I don’t know because I don’t know you. You might not fall in love with a place simply because I like it. You must go and explore it for yourself, based on what drives you and which places are calling your name.’
To travel simply means to leave your home, so start small. Take yourself out for dinner or visit a museum alone. Attend an exciting event in your city, even if you have no-one to go with. Hop in a car or catch a bus and explore a place a few hours from your home that you’ve never been to before. Think of these as your solo-travel training wheels. Once you’ve conquered trips closer to familiar territory, take the leap and get that passport stamped. When choosing your first country for solo travel abroad, think about a place where you will feel comfortable – perhaps a country where you speak the language, or where you have friends who have been. When you feel comfortable you are more confident, and when you’re confident, you are less vulnerable. So book that trip and walk down the street in foreign lands with your head up high. A little tip someone taught me: carry a local newspaper under your arm so people think you live there, even if you don’t look like a local. They will assume you know the language and will be less likely to try to get one over on you! The armour of another person can help us feel confident when we travel, but what if we are our own armour?
Whether you’re new to solo travel or an OG like me, remember that most people are good. My journey around the world was made beautiful by the kindness of strangers. A stranger is just a friend that you haven’t met yet, not someone to fear. When you hear negative stories, take them with a pinch of salt, in the same way we do the positive. Because no matter how things might seem, there is absolutely more good in the world than bad. Also, as women, we possess an innate intuition that helps keep us safe. Solo travel helps to hone this. Trust yourself. Trust your gut.
Go forth and see some world!
