It’s a universal issue – those ‘men are from Mars and women are from Venus’ bedroom dilemmas. “Women often misunderstand men, and men often misunderstand women,” explains Juliet Allen, HERO Condoms Sexologist. “This is a normal and natural pattern in millions of heterosexual relationships. When it comes to sex, it’s common for couples to feel frustrated with each other, often expressing that they just wish their partner ‘got’ what it is they want in bed.” So how do you get on the same universal wavelength? Check out these common examples of how women and men differ when it comes to sex, and Juliet’s clever solutions. Ohhhhhh yes – shooting stars on the horizon!
He wants: Quick sex
She wants: Quick sex, but with both people reaching orgasm (not just the man)
Solution: “Gentleman, it’s common knowledge that it’s often far easier (and quicker) for you to reach orgasm than your female counterpart,” explains Juliet. “If you both enjoy quickies, that’s great. But if your partner also wants an orgasm (and isn’t reaching them due to time), it’s about time you both figure out just how you can make that happen for her. This may mean that she uses her hand to stimulate her clitoris, or uses a vibrator (whilst being internally stimulated)… either way it’s important that you are both satisfied.” Remember, many hands make light work – so perhaps you could let your fingers do the walking? Just an idea…
He wants: A threesome
She wants: Her man to want her, and no one else
Solution: “It’s a common challenge; often the man fantasises about a threesome and thinks that if he can just make it happen in real life, then he’ll be satisfied,” says Juliet. “If the woman isn’t into the threesome idea, she often feels betrayed (even if the threesome hasn’t actually taken place). The solution here is compromise and understanding. Ladies, fantasy is completely normal and believe me, your man is fantasising more often than you think. But gentlemen, if your woman doesn’t want it to happen in real life, then her choice needs to be respected. Reality is, you can’t always have your cake and eat it too.” Mmmm cake…
He wants: A f*ck buddy
She wants: A loving man who will text her everyday and send her flowers
Solution: “We all know that the so-called ‘f*ck buddy’ is never really just that. This is because men are great at engaging in emotionally detached sex, but women aren’t. The funny thing is, women often love the idea of a f*ck buddy, but fast become emotionally involved and attached. This then leads to misunderstanding and heartbreak. The solution? COMMUNICATION. If you both talk about exactly what you’re getting into (before it actually takes place), then you are both on the same page, and no one can be blamed for heartbreak later down the track.” And that means communicating with your mouth, or more specifically, words, not telepathically.
ABOUT JULIET
Juliet Allen is HERO Condoms sexologist— a company that donates one condom to developing countries for every one bought in Australia, to help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS and save lives.
