If you’re thinking about proposing this year, this guide will help you give your partner a ring they truly love.
For a piece of jewellery that symbolises one of the most life-changing moments of your life, the answer to how much you should spend is different for every couple. There is no longer a single rule that acts as a benchmark for everyone. With the rising cost of living and increasing challenges around housing affordability, deciding what to spend on a ring has become far more considered than it once was.
The Origin of the Expectation
The idea of a diamond engagement ring is not new. Some trace it back to ancient Egypt, while others point to 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy. But for most of us today, the modern expectation was shaped in 1947, when De Beers introduced the phrase: A Diamond is Forever. Alongside it came the marketing message that a man should spend one month’s salary on an engagement ring.
After helping more than 10,000 couples begin their journey towards marriage, there is one question I get asked more than any other: “How much should I spend?”
As a lighthearted joke, I often say, “Three months’ salary, before tax and including bonuses,” which usually gets a laugh. But the reality is that the old rules simply do not apply anymore.
The Changing Diamond Market
Over the last few years, the diamond industry has experienced significant disruption, particularly with the introduction of laboratory-grown diamonds. At the same time, natural diamonds have softened, dropping by around 40 percent in the last 18 months. For those drawn to natural diamonds, they are more accessible now than they have been in recent years—not as an investment, but as something meaningful to be passed down through generations.
Couples today are able to acquire a significantly larger diamond than they ever thought possible. What once felt out of reach is now highly accessible, shifting expectations around size and value.
At the same time, couples are making highly considered financial decisions. For many, a budget of $4,000 to $7,000 is realistic and appropriate. For others, spending $10,000 to $15,000 or more feels right. There is a genuine sense of pride in knowing that the gift carries both emotional and symbolic weight. Neither approach is better or worse; it simply comes down to what aligns with your priorities and stage of life.
Creating a Ring That Tells Your Story
If a picture tells a thousand words, your jewellery should hold a lifetime of memories. One of my greatest joys as a jewellery designer is co-creating with my clients, helping them personalise their ring so it becomes truly meaningful—rather than something that feels like it came out of a gumball machine.
Sometimes, it means incorporating a favourite gemstone, like a sapphire. For others, it is a hidden engraving set with a small diamond. One recent client engraved the words, “Forever looks good on you” inside the band, with a diamond set in the ‘O’. It is those details that transform a ring into something deeply personal. It is what I call the “roller coaster moment.”
Craftsmanship Over Real Estate
When choosing a ring, couples are often deciding between quality and size within a given budget. Do you value the origin of the stone, or the physical real estate on the hand?
With laboratory-grown diamonds becoming more accessible, the centre stone is sometimes no longer the most valuable component. For couples looking to create something truly personal, the craftsmanship of a master jeweller and a handcrafted ring designed to stand the test of time can be more valuable than the diamond itself. There is a growing distinction between bespoke, handcrafted rings made by on-site jewellers, and lightweight, mass-produced pieces that may not last beyond a decade.
It is also about finding the right jeweller. Do you value working with a business that has a long-standing legacy? Have you checked their Google reviews and after-service support? A warranty from a business operating for three years does not carry the same weight as one from a jeweller crafting rings for fifty years.
Why Spending Less Is Rarely the Regret
One crucial piece of advice I give clients preparing to propose is this: Do not give a budget range of $5,000 to $10,000. What can be created at $10,000 is very different from what can be created at $5,000. After more than three decades in the diamond industry, I can say with complete confidence that I have never had a client come back wishing they had spent less or chosen a smaller diamond.
I remember seeing a sign on a workshop door with a quote often attributed to Benjamin Franklin:
“The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of low price is forgotten.”
An engagement ring is not a bottle of wine; it does not get better in ten years’ time. If you find the right jeweller who understands you, you will never regret going that little bit further.
It’s Not the Surprise, It’s the Memory
In most cases, your partner already knows a proposal is coming. What matters most is making it memorable. You only get to do this once. Write down what you want to say. Practise it. Because no matter how confident you feel, the moment you get down on one knee, everything tends to disappear.
When I proposed to my wife, I made a simple decision: I spent every dollar I had in my bank account. Looking back, I would not change a thing. Not because of the amount, but because I knew I had done the absolute best I could for her with what I had at the time. That sense of pride stays with me, as I am sure it will with you.
Before you propose, consider these final thoughts:
- Spend what makes you feel proud.
- Spend what feels aligned with your life and values, not someone else’s rule.
- Spend what reflects the significance of the moment.
In the end, it is not the price of the ring that defines the moment; it is the meaning behind it. Choose something that tells your story, reflects your intention, and feels right for both of you. When you do that, you will never question what you spent—you will only remember how it felt.
