There’s no getting away from it – when a bub comes along, life changes. While most of the changes are glorious and very welcome, some mums can feel like they lose themselves in their ‘new’ mothering role. So, how do you get back to feeling like ‘YOU’ again?
Our Moral Maze Panel: Psychologist Jo Lamble; The Carousel’s LifeStyle Editor Nedahl Stelio; Channel Seven News Presenter Chris Bath and CareerOne CEO Karen Lawson took to the stage at the recent ‘VITALITY’ Health and Wellbeing Show in Sydney. Onstage, they discussed a range of topics – one of the most popular involved the secrets to getting your post-baby mojo back.
In this video the panel share some great insights for parents on how to bounce back – from getting regular exercise, to focusing on re-joining the workforce but none of them said it was easy!
Nedahl has two children – and explains one of the biggest issues for her was “Taking time out for myself – so being a mum, everyone else came first. The kids came first then the partner, and work had to fit in somewhere and then yourself”. While she jokes she’s still working on getting her mojo back, making time for yourself is one of her pivotal pieces of advice, she says you should make it as important as a business meeting “put it in your diary”.
Nedahl writes from first-hand experience.
Her book, ‘Mojo Mama Secrets’ outlines all the insider secrets, tricks and expert tips on recovering the four F’s: Fashion, Food, Fitness and of course being Fabulous.
She touches on 5 Secret Beauty Weapons which will have you feeling great and look great every day. The book includes tips on how to ‘create time’ and how to follow her Mama Styleover. Practical advice includes how to beat loneliness and, perhaps most importantly, how to get some sleep. Nedahl’s complete diet overhaul lets you eat a LOT of food while losing baby weight while her ‘mind makeover’ will help you to think more positively.
Nedahl’s e-book Mojo Mama Secrets is just $9.99 and will be available for download soon on Amazon.com!
Jo: Hello, I’m Jo Lamble and welcome back to the moral maze. Today I’m joined by Nedahl Stelio, the Lifestyle editor of The Carousel; Karen Lawson, CEO of CareerOne, leading digital recruitment and technology business; and Chris Bath, Channel 7 News reader and host of Sunday Night. Here’s one for you parents out there- TV and radio presenter Jackie O says she loves being a mum but she revealed in a new book Mojo Mama Secrets recently that she’s constantly tired, she put on 15 kilos after the birth of her baby daughter and the last thing she felt like doing was hitting the gym. Now a lot of mums struggle with getting their mojo back after having a child so today we’re going to see if we can try discover some of the secrets. Nedahl, you wrote Mojo Mumma secrets, how did you get your mojo back after having your two children?
Nedahl: I don’t know if I’ve got it back yet [laughs] but I’m trying! It’s a work in progress. I think mojo means different things for different people and there are a lot of things which make up your mojo, whether it’s your health, your wardrobe, your mind- I think a lot of it is your mind. I think one of the biggest things, for me anyway, was taking time out for myself. I found that being a mum, I’d put everyone else first. So the kids came first, then your husband or partner or work and then you came in. I think that manifested in a number of different ways so everything from not making yourself lunch and eating the kids leftovers or eating something realty unhealthy on the run to not doing your own washing because the kids need their washing done and he needed his washing done and you’re at home so you need to do those things. To not making time to exercise or eat right or just spending time on yourself. I think that one of the biggest things is scheduling in some time for you and making it as important as a work meeting. So actually putting it in your diary as this is ‘my time to exercise’, this is ‘my time to get my haircut’, this is ‘my time to have a coffee’. Anything that makes you feel like ‘you’ again, something without your children, without anyone. That you can do for yourself because mums are selfless and everyone else comes first and it’s hard to give yourself that love that you give so freely to everyone else and I think that’s a really important thing about getting your mojo back.
Jo: And do it guilt-free!
Nedahl: Yes! Because there’s so much of that guilt- I didn’t get my hair cut for so long because I just didn’t have time and I thought, I just actually need to do this now. It’s a necessity.
Jo: Karen, what are your top 3 mojo building strategies for mums going back to work?
Karen: Well the first thing is that you don’t need to lose your mojo when you have children in terms of being connected. I think it’s really important to keep connected and your employers have hired you, they want you. We’ve all had the experience of hiring people so we want to keep great people in our business. So stay connected to your employer; get the emails; get an opportunity to go online, to read about your industry. You can actually come back to work much more well-equipped and well informed than some people that are in work because you’ve had a chance to reflect on the industry and actually come back with a different perspective. I think the other thing is authenticity. I guess being a mum puts a different perspective and a value system and a lens on what you do with your time now. Really understand what you love doing because it’s going to be really hard to leave your children at home and do a job you don’t love. I think the other area is that you’re relationship with your employer is a relationship. Like many relationships, we change, we have different value systems, things become more important to us. That magic with that employer is gone, maybe you’re not enjoying the job anymore and that’s ok to say that’s not alright. I think there’s a great responsibility for employers to come to the party and really support women. Not just women but also men because a lot of pressure is we need flexible working practices for women but what about the men, they’re part of this system too. We’ve been talking about this a lot at CareerOne, so we’re actually going to be holding a ‘women at work’ virtual fare to bring all the employers around Australia together in a virtual world for a couple of weeks so that women can come online, they can sit with their daughters, they can sit with their friends and really get access to lots of information and education and really understand about women in leadership and empowerment. I think we need to step up as employers, as digital businesses and provide those different avenues for information and choice.
Jo: That’s going to help new mums. Chris, have you got your mojo back yet?
Chris: I think that’s debatable. My son’s nearly fourteen so I hope so! The thing that really worked for me- my son didn’t sleep through the night till he was five years old. So I really understand how sleep depravation was used as torture. Every time Guantanamo Bay came up I went ‘I live there with this terrorist who won’t sleep’. We did everything. We went to Naughty Boy sleep school, we tried everything. They just said ‘he just doesn’t need a lot of sleep’ and I’d say ‘tell me about it!’. So the thing that ended up saving my life was Dancing with the Stars which was a bit weird because it forced me to go back to exercising. Exercise really helped me. You mentioned earlier, Nedahl, about saving half an hour for exercise a day. To start with I could barely walk up a hill because I was so unfit but by the end of it I was running 12k five times a week. I don’t anymore because the mind is willing but the joints are not! It’s one of those things, I gradually got into it and it really helped me get my self-esteem back, it helped me deal with work mentally a lot better. It’s a practice I’ve kept now for years so I sequester my exercise time away and I guard it jealously and I think that is what’s been the most important thing for me. Exercise keeps me sane.
Jo: I find that if I do it first thing in the morning, before anyone else is awake then you just feel like you’re stealing this time and no-one can find you
Chris: Yes, that’s the best time to do it. Otherwise your time is encroached on. So I do that, I’m not a morning person, I’m a night owl. But I get up every morning, I put the shoes next to the bed and off I go
Jo: Clearly the path to getting your mojo back is different for everyone. Why not share some of your secrets on TheCarousel.com on the comments section and we’ll see you back here next time on the Moral Maze.
