Parenting is often described as a journey filled with unconditional love, but the reality is far more nuanced and human. For many parents and caregivers of teenagers, emotions can shift rapidly from deep affection and pride to frustration, distance, and even moments of dislike. According to child psychologist Dr Anna Cohen, these mixed emotions are not only common, but entirely normal.
Rather than trying to suppress or feel guilty about these responses, the focus should be on understanding them and responding in ways that support healthier relationships. The teenage years in particular can challenge even the most grounded parent or caregiver, making empathy, clear boundaries, and emotional awareness more important than ever. Whether it’s learning how to communicate with care, set consistent expectations, or find shared interests, small intentional changes can make a meaningful difference at home.
Here, Dr Anna Cohen shares her expert guidance on navigating these complex emotions and strengthening the relationship between parents and their teens—no matter what family looks like.
“The emotions that come with parenting or caregiving can vary—you may feel deep love for your child or teen, and at times frustration, exhaustion, or even moments of disconnection. All of these feelings are normal,” explains child psychologist Dr Anna Cohen.
“However, in those more challenging moments, it’s important to reflect on how our responses and the environment we create can influence a young person’s behaviour. Child and adolescent development is a shared process, shaped by relationships, with caregivers playing a key role in guiding and supporting growth.”
Here are her top tips for better managing your feelings:
1. Loving communication
Even when it feels difficult, young people are often more perceptive than we realise. They can sense emotional distance or tension, even when it isn’t spoken. The goal is to first acknowledge your own emotions without judgement, and then find ways to communicate in a respectful, calm, and caring manner. All children and young people, regardless of age, need to feel valued, safe, and emotionally connected to their caregivers.
2. Setting boundaries is key
Respectful communication and behaviour matter at every age. What may have been minor or developmentally appropriate in early childhood can become more entrenched patterns over time if not gently guided. Setting clear, consistent, and age-appropriate boundaries helps children and young people understand expectations and develop respect for themselves and others. While it can be challenging in the moment, consistency often supports healthier dynamics over time.
3. Take a step back
In emotionally charged moments, it’s easy to respond quickly and later wish we had paused. Taking time to regulate your response allows for calmer communication and clearer thinking. When feelings are expressed in a grounded way, young people are more likely to understand the message. When reactions are driven by frustration alone, communication can break down and lead to greater disconnection on both sides.
4. Find common ground
Every individual is unique, even within the same family. Differences in personality, interests, and life perspective are natural and not necessarily a sign of conflict. Strengthening relationships often comes from identifying shared interests or activities that create space for positive connection—moments that aren’t centred around correction, routine, or conflict.
5. Lead by example
Young people learn as much from what we do as from what we say. The way caregivers communicate, manage stress, and interact with others all contributes to how children and teens learn to navigate the world. Modelling respect, empathy, and accountability helps set the foundation for those same behaviours in return.
6. Compromise is key
As children grow into adolescence, behaviours and expectations may become more fixed, making flexibility and collaboration important. Finding workable compromises such as shared agreements or family guidelines can help create structure while still allowing young people to feel heard and involved. The aim is not to remove boundaries, but to create a framework that works for everyone in the household.
There is no simple path through parenting or caregiving, especially during the teenage years. However, when adults focus on clear boundaries, emotional awareness, and respectful communication, they are not only guiding behaviour, they are also supporting the development of self-worth, self-discipline, and emotional resilience.
Most importantly, these moments of challenge can sit alongside care and connection. Showing up consistently, even when it’s hard, communicates something powerful: that the young person is valued, supported, and loved as they grow.
