But registered mid-wife Jane Barry says take a deep breath and relax – you probably know more than you think!
To mark World Breastfeeding Week [August 1-7] we caught up with the Philips AVENT ambassador to get her thoughts on the main issues and glean a few useful tips.
What are some of the common problems facing modern mothers?
Technology is a big issue in everyone’s lives and it seems to have contributed to stress. Having to account for every minute of the day and the transparency of other’s lives has created a competitive feel to parenting which is never pleasant and rarely useful.
Smaller families has meant there’s less opportunity for kids to get away with anything, they are much more visible to their parents than previous generations where a little “benign neglect” may have had some benefits.
Then there’s mothers needing or choosing to return to work, which also means their time management skills have to be well-developed.
What is your advice to first time mums in overcoming some of these problems?
Be kind to yourself and accept all reasonable offers of support from family and friends. Nobody likes a martyr. Get every labour saving device you can get your hands on-buy it, rent it, hire purchase it – do whatever you need to to save a few hours a day. Have honest discussions with your partner about shared responsibilities in looking after the children and contributing fairly to housework.
Don’t see yourself as the ‘gate-keeper’ when it comes to your partner’s interaction with the kids, they’ll do things differently to you and that’s just fine.
Try not to use the same skills you apply to your work as you do at home. Being task focused and working to a strict budget of time or productivity does not translate from work to home, they’re completely different things.
Don’t beat yourself up about the small things, so much energy can be saved by just allowing ourselves not to stress so much. Every so often it’s just fine to have what I call “an 80% day” where conserving 20% just for Mummy is the wisest thing to do.
What are your top five tips on breastfeeding?
- Don’t expect it to always be easy, but do expect it to be worth it.
- Follow your baby’s lead. Breastfeeding isn’t just about the mother, it’s really important to be sensitive and responsive to the baby as well.
- Any amount of breastfeeding is valuable. Even if you’re not fully breastfeeding, whatever breast milk your baby is getting has health benefits.
- Keep breastfeeding for as long as you and your baby are happy.
- Don’t let breastfeeding eclipse all the other great things you’re doing as a mother. Although it’s incredibly important, it’s no more important that the love and attention and also security you’re giving them too.
Do you have any other expert advice for first time mums?
Be kind to each other and yourself too. Comparisons are rarely useful and the truth is that most of us do the best we can with what we have.
You know more than what you give yourself credit for, the human race has survived for around 200,000 years, largely as a result of the love and care mothers have invested into their children. When in doubt do what feels right and makes sense.
If the walls are closing in at home then go for a walk. Fresh air and a change of scenery can really turn things around, and if you’re struggling and not enjoying motherhood then speak with a healthcare professional. There’s heaps of support and help available and it all starts with a simple phone call.
Here are some more tips in this handy video below.
