For many women, there’s a particular kind of self-sacrifice (typically accompanied with a side of guilt …) that slips quietly into daily life … the kind that looks like reheating the same cup of tea three times, or stuffing your handbag with snacks, wipes and spare socks that don’t belong to you. It’s rarely dramatic, but it’s constant. New national research commissioned by Big W shows Australian mums living with a so-called “Treat Gap” – a telling phrase that captures just how often women place themselves last.
The findings paint a picture that’s equal parts relatable and revealing. On average, mums treat themselves four times less often than they treat their kids. One in five rarely treats herself at all. Nearly 70 per cent admit they feel guilty when they do indulge. And an overwhelming 87 per cent have given up something small for themselves so their child could have it instead. It’s not just generosity – it’s habit, expectation, and sometimes cultural conditioning wrapped up in everyday motherhood.
But here’s the twist: the research doesn’t frame this as something to scold or shame. Instead, it opens a conversation about permission – specifically, giving women permission to take a little joy back.
Because the data also reveals how deeply ingrained selflessness can be. More than half of mums spend under $20 when they treat themselves. Fifty-eight per cent say they’re constantly performing “hidden tasks” no one acknowledges. And while treating their children brings happiness and joy – 67 per cent and 66 per cent respectively – many don’t extend that same kindness inward. Nearly half say what they truly want is time to do something just for themselves. 59 per cent crave uninterrupted alone time. And 42 per cent simply want guilt-free spending money to enjoy.
These aren’t grand or extravagant wishes. They’re small, human ones. A moment of quiet. A purchase that isn’t justified by practicality. A choice that prioritises personal delight rather than household logistics.
In response, Big W has turned those insights into something tangible – quite literally – celebrating the launch of its Autumn/Winter collection by treating thousands of mums nationwide to free gifts tied directly to these shared experiences at the Big W Treat Truck. Here, teacups nod to the 100 unfinished cuppas abandoned each year. Handbags acknowledge the average four kid-centric essentials mums carry daily. Jewellery boxes reference the 54 personal items misplaced amid domestic chaos. Earrings wink at the almost 100 weekly utterances of “mum”. Scented candles offer respite from the household smells 85 per cent encounter.
It’s playful, but also surprisingly symbolic. Each item reframes a daily irritation or invisible labour as something worthy of recognition, even celebration.
Helping bring the initiative to life is style consultant Jules Robinson, who has been front and centre of the Treat Truck popping up across Sydney. She’s spoken candidly about how closely the findings mirror real life – the juggling act, the instinctive prioritising of others, and the way self-care often becomes an afterthought. Her message is refreshingly uncomplicated: sometimes treating yourself is as simple as wearing something that boosts your confidence or adding a small detail to your home that sparks joy.
And perhaps that’s the real takeaway from this entire exercise – not the giveaways or pop-ups, but the mindset shift. Because the data suggests women aren’t necessarily yearning for extravagance; they’re yearning for validation that their needs deserve space too.
The Treat Truck itself has become something of a cheerful symbol of that shift, and will be appearing at familiar Sydney spots like Luna Park Sydney (Saturday 21 February 10am – 1pm)) and Centennial Park (later that day from 3 – 4.30) + Big W stores across Australia – but this time with the focus squarely on mums. This flips the usual dynamic on its head: rather than orchestrating joy for everyone else, women step forward and claim a small slice of it for themselves.
Zooming out, the broader message feels quietly radical in its simplicity. Modern motherhood is often discussed in extremes – burnout versus balance, sacrifice versus self-care – yet the reality sits somewhere more nuanced. Women don’t need lectures about putting themselves first; many simply need reminders that their wellbeing doesn’t come at the expense of anyone else’s. In fact, modelling self-worth may be one of the most powerful lessons passed down.
Treating yourself doesn’t have to mean spa weekends or designer splurges. Sometimes it’s a candle lit after bedtime. Sometimes it’s choosing something new for yourself instead of automatically defaulting to the kids’ section. And, sometimes it’s finishing that cup of tea while it’s still hot.
If the “Treat Gap” tells us anything, it’s that generosity toward others has become second nature for many women. Closing it isn’t about diminishing that instinct – it’s about balancing it with the understanding that joy is not a finite resource. There’s enough to go around, and you’re allowed your share.
So consider this your nudge – editorial, empathetic, and wholeheartedly encouraging. The next time you hesitate over a small indulgence, remember the numbers, the habits they reveal, and the gentle invitation they carry. Treating yourself isn’t selfish. It’s sustaining. And sometimes, the smallest gesture can feel like the sweetest reward.
