Keeping a relationship firing on all cylinders can be tough; we all know that.
The poor Brits are more schooled on the trials and tribulations of the heart than most.
The latest figures from the Office for National Statistics show that the number of people in the UK who feel extremely or fairly unhappy in their relationship has doubled since 2009.
Of course, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go, but for those who are just experiencing a rocky patch, psychologists and scientists have found certain techniques that make addressing your issues easier, and could save your relationship from the brink, reports the Independent.
Here are just five tips to try if you’re serious about salvaging your relationship before it’s too late.
1. Hit the gym together
A recent study on 64 couples where intimacy problems were acute found that exercise helped them restore physical contact. Couples who worked out twice a week for an hour together for six months showed more affection towards each other than those who didn’t.
Still, it’s important to remember that every couple is different. What links these fixes is a focus on introducing emotional talking, observes Barbara Bloomfield, the author of Couple Therapy: Dramas of Love and Sex, and counselling supervisor at the relationships charity Relate.
“In Relate we sometimes talk about the ‘good news sandwich,’ which is a compliment, a request, and then another compliment. This is a good way to create a positive framework for a conversation about your relationship. It also helps to be balanced in the same way when you come to a break up, not forgetting the positive times you have enjoyed. There is a lot of research about the wellbeing benefits of a positive and balanced mindset. We just need to work hard sometimes at keeping that balance.”
2. Netflix and chill
Research into 174 couples at the University of Rochester in the US found that watching and discussing five films about relationships over a month can cut divorce rates between newlyweds by half. That’s because it allows you to pinpoint and understand what your partner expects in a relationship.
3. Use emojis
Who knew the dancing lady in a red dress or the smiley poop could change your love life? The cute images are the fastest growing form of communication in the UK, according to research at Bangor University. Their researchers found that using the little yellow faces can actually help us better express our emotions.
4. Stand by your man, literally
How we value our personal space is a concept known as ‘framing’ in psychiatry. Research suggests that communicating emotions while making eye contact can be challenging for men. So, sitting side by side or taking a walk can make sharing feelings easier.
“Some men in particular can be prone to feeling shame or frustration when partners want to talk about relationships, fearing that their replies will be inadequate or that they are missing the point,” adds love expert Barbara.
5. Argue and complain more
Work by John Gottman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, and the man behind the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy, shows that arguing is part of a committed relationship. If you’re not complaining about small things like putting out the bin, how can you tackle the tougher stuff?