Is it normal for your partner to dress up in cowboy chaps, gun a blazing, while you play out his fantasy of the damsel in distress? Is it normal to have sex three times per week for approximately 10 minutes per session? Is it normal for him to orgasm from the same position every single time? According to HERO Condoms Sexologist Juliet Allen, when it comes to sex, there is no normal. Here, Juliet shares her inner wisdom and insights….
“Rule number one when it comes to sex: there is no normal,” says Juliet. “Sex is a big part of our lives and yet it’s still a very taboo topic of conversation in our society. As a result, we don’t talk about sex enough and the lack of sex talk leads to assumptions being made about our sex lives; Are we having sex enough? Is what we do in the bedroom normal? Should we be having sex daily? Are our neighbours doing it more than us?
Never fear, your sex life is very normal and natural and whatever you’re doing in the bedroom is what millions of others are doing as well. Regular sex is healthy and a plentiful appetite for sex is a sign of high energy levels, vitality and health. But hey, if you’re not doing it as much as your neighbours, that’s ok. As an individual you have to decide what ‘regular’ sex is and what suits you and your partner. Some couples are going at it four times a day, others four times a year… there is no right and wrong!
The biggest sex challenge that arises between couples is that one person wants more sex than the other (and this is often when the problems begin). If you find that you and your partner have mismatched libidos, believe me, this is also very normal. Throughout our lives our libidos will go up and down, and they won’t always match that of our lovers.
If this sounds like you (and it’s wreaking havoc in your relationship), then my biggest piece of advice is to talk to your partner about it. Talk, talk, talk, and be compassionate and understanding towards each other. A little bit of compromise goes a long way and relationships will always go through their ups and downs when it comes to sex and intimacy.”