In the fast-paced world of “I want it and I want it now” and the swipe left, swipe right culture of dating, connection and romance are being lost leaving a trail of frustration to dishearted singles.
Where you once only asked and accepted a date if you were already interested with the high probability of the date leading somewhere, it’s now been reversed to the high probability of it leading nowhere. Being accustomed to rejection has become the norm and finding a spark has become a rarity.
The animal kingdom relies on a series of mating rituals between the species which rarely change with evolution – yet when it comes to humans not only has the rise of the digital age impacted the way you connect, communicate and date, it has changed the dating landscape. The way we love hasn’t changed but the art of seduction and mating rituals have been replaced with the click of a button, instant gratification and a lazy quick fix to fill the void of spending Saturday night alone.
Bringing back the romance and excitement to dating is as simple as slowing down, dating less people and spending more time remembering the art of seduction and important rituals of the mating game.
The sharing of food helps people bond, it’s a ritual shared to demonstrate respect, celebration love, care and peacemaking throughout society and social interactions. From a business deal to a wedding, politics or religion, the coming together in mutuality is part of our non-verbal communication. Ignoring or disregarding the exchange of food when dating dramatically reduces the ability to connect on a deeper level.
Given the importance it is wise to acknowledge that 80% of the way people communicate is through non-verbal communications, where you go, what you do and how you do it says so much without you even opening your mouth. Not bothering to include a shared meal could be interpreted by your date that they are on probation; you don’t think they are worth the time or expense and you aren’t committed to the outcome.
When it comes to dating there are just as many things that can go wrong when sharing food as there are not sharing it. Here are the 8 do’s and don’ts to consider when introducing the important ritual of the lunch or dinner date.
- Don’t be lazy when setting up a date or minimise the importance of connection and romance in food. This means bypass the coffee date!
- Avoid ordering messy food you have to pick up in your hands like ribs, burgers, chicken wings or crab on a first date.
- Don’t choose noisy food – 2nd biggest turn off is listening to someone crunch and grind
- Steer clear of buffets and order at the bar venues – No table service is a mood killer.
1. Choose food you can share it shows your ability to be flexible and cooperative. It helps you understand what foods your date likes which also gives you more opportunity to set up a second date.
2. Eat with your mouth closed. Nobody wants to see your half-chewed food.
3. Be polite to the wait staff. The lack of regard shown to people serving the food to you is in most people’s perception enough to say no to a second date.
4. Check what sort of food your date eats before choosing a restaurant – There is nothing worse for a vegetarian than being taken to a steakhouse.
The Carousel would like to thank Louanne Ward for her story.
Louanne is a Relationship Expert, Date Coach & Millionaire Matchmaker