At the age of thirty-five, Romi Grossberg decided to give up her job as a social worker in Australia for a two-year contract to work at a hip-hop youth center called Tiny Toones, located in the slums of Cambodia.
In her incredibly heartfelt and honest book Hip Hop & Hope, Romi shares the highs and lows of her journey working with the youth in Cambodia. She describes the unbreakable bonds formed and the resilience of the young people as they make their way from drug- and alcohol-affected slums to eventually performing on a TEDx stage and in sold-out performances in Australia. A must read book to add to your list this year.
Can you describe your first impressions when you arrived in the slums of Cambodia? How did these early experiences shape your perspective?
“I had traveled through Asia before, but within seconds of landing, I knew Cambodia was going to be vastly different. Arriving in the summer with 40-degree heat, needing to be covered in respect for the Buddhist culture, potholes in the roads, homelessness, the smell of the streets, and a huge language barrier… I was worried I was out of my depth. I don’t know if any experience has prepared me for this.”
What were some of the biggest challenges you face and how did you over come them?
“The biggest challenge was getting them to accept me so that I could help them. These are kids who are used to being abandoned, so I had to prove I wasn’t leaving. The only way to do that was to consistently be there.
I also faced ethical dilemmas within myself, like questioning what my Western education was telling me and how that fit into Cambodian culture. Is education the most important thing because I’m a Western-educated person, or is it truly the most important thing in Cambodia and everywhere else?”
In Hip Hop & Hope, you talk about the transformative power of music. Can you share a moment that was particularly meaningful for you or for the people you worked with in this context?
“One of the boys, nicknamed ‘Suicide’ for his killer dance moves, often struggled to make it through the weekend without turning back to substance abuse. One Monday morning, he came in having managed to stay clean over the weekend, but when he arrived, he was agitated. As a counsellor, I could have sat down with him to talk about it. He looked at me with pleading eyes, and I thought the only thing that would help him right now was dancing. So, we went down to the dance studio, closed the door, and put on some hip hop music.
I just sat in the corner while he stood there, looking at me. I could see him starting to feel the music. He began thrashing his body around, doing the most unbelievable dance moves. It went on for about 20 minutes until he was sweating and panting from dancing. Then, I went over, held his hand in silence, and only then, after releasing all that pent-up energy through hip hop, did he start opening up and talking to me.”
What do you think in particular made hip hop or Tiny Toones such a powerful form of hope and expression?
“When dealing with street kids, gangs, and violence, you can’t easily approach them in the street and say, ‘Hey, do you want to get an education and go to school?’ Instead, you might say, ‘Hey, do you want to come breakdance with KK?’ Then they would come and join the breakdancing circle at Tiny Toones. The circle helps create a sense of community; everyone takes turns and hypes each other up while they dance. There is a real sense of respect, family, and acceptance, something many of these kids have never felt before. Because of that sense of family, everyone was always looking out for and keeping an eye on each other.”
Photograph by Stuart Isset
What advice would you give to people interested in a similar line of work as you?
“When I started writing the book, the original idea was that it would be a resource for people studying or going into this line of work, but it eventually turned into a story. Every country, culture, and workplace is different, but the most important thing is to learn from the people you work with. We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak. My advice would be to learn the culture, language, and the respect needed for the culture you are in. Figure out what their needs are; don’t assume you know.
It’s also important to make the place you are working in sustainable. Train their staff, explain what you are doing and why. Always be teaching so that when you leave, a sustainable system is in place.”
Can you talk about the resilience of the people in these communities? What surprised you most about their strength and spirit?
“Their resilience was unbelievable. At times, some had no food or clean clothes, yet they just kept going. In Western culture, sometimes we are spoiled. I don’t think I ever actually heard them complain; they just got on with it. They would look at a child who might be younger and say, ‘Oh, he doesn’t have food,’ and then give their only meal to another kid they thought was more disadvantaged than themselves. That would blow me away.”
What do you believe needs to be done to better support vulnerable communities like those in Tiny Toones Cambodia?
“The biggest issue that NGOs face is funding and finance. There is often an ongoing conversation about the possibility of having to close doors due to a lack of funding. Funding is always results-driven and specific. Tiny Toones does a lot for many kids, most of whom are illiterate, and proving this to donors can be difficult. Community development involves helping these groups become self-sufficient while also finding sources of funding.”
How has your work in Cambodia influenced your life and career since? Are you still connected to those communities?
“I remained in Cambodia after my role ended because I didn’t have the heart to leave them yet. I stayed on for a while, but then I began writing Hip Hop & Hope, which ended up taking ten years. I realized I needed separation from Cambodia and Tiny Toones to gain perspective. It’s hard to write a book about something while you’re still living it. I thought I’d spend only one month in a bungalow on the beach in Thailand to write the book, but I ended up living there for almost eight years. During that time, I worked as a counselor and created creative writing workshops. Although I kept coming back to Hip Hop & Hope, I also wrote two other books in between. Hip Hop & Hope had to be the best one. I was afraid the kids didn’t understand what I was doing. I spoke to the entire Tiny Toones family a lot about the book, explaining that I was writing about their lives and making sure they were okay with me sharing their stories.
I still keep in close contact with them. They know I’m only an hour away, and I go back for weddings, births, and funerals. Toward the end of my time at Tiny Toones and in Cambodia, I started to wonder: Am I maintaining this contact because I need them, or because they need me? Or am I lying to myself about which one it is? The connection was so strong that I needed to remove myself to understand if I wasn’t using them to fill my own heart with love. I gradually stepped back, realizing they relied on me, but I also relied on them for emotional support. We very much depended on each other. While I didn’t want to abandon them, I wanted them to recognize they were becoming adults and needed to start thinking more independently. They could come to me for feedback, but they needed to stand up for themselves.
I still speak to them a lot today.”
HIP HOP & HOPE is part memoir, part history, part travelogue, and completely engaging. Its portrait of Phnom Penh is complicated and indelible – and inspirational. A real heart-breaker tear-jerker. And timely. This is the kind of story we need now, more than ever. Human resilience. The strength of community amongst the homeless. The power of love and belonging and finding family in the absence of. And ultimately finding hope in the rubble caused by war and death.
Romi Grossberg is an Australian-born social worker, public speaker and author of two self-help books, who has been living in Asia since 2010.
Romi has spoken at TEDx Phnom Penh 2011, SXSW Austin Texas 2023, and numerous festivals and international conferences in between. She appears regularly on television, podcasts and radio, including with Cambodian Princess Soma Norodom. She is still living in Asia (Thailand), working as a counsellor and in professional development. She is currently on the Board of Directors of Tiny Toones Cambodia and Asia Pacific Writers and Translators. www.romigrossberg.com
