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Bullying Solutions: When Your Teen Daughter’s Reputation Is Ruined

Teens And Self Image Or Lack Of It!
Franki Hobson

Writer

May 15, 2020

In this Anti-Bullying series, The Carousel has spoken with The Alannah and Madeline Foundation, a national charity protecting children from violence and its devastating effects, and the National Centre Against Bullying, an initiative of The Alannah and Madeline Foundation, to give advice on your bullying experiences.  

WHEN A TEENAGER’S REPUTATION IS DELIBERATLY RUINED

Q “My 15 year-old daughter broke up with her boyfriend about six months ago. Ever since, he has been spreading rumours about her and what sexual acts they supposedly did together. She has a couple of close friends at school but her reputation has been severely tarnished. He continues to call her mobile phone from a private number, rings her friends to try and turn them against her, posts awful comments about her on her friend’s Facebook accounts and anyone connected to her. I’ve alerted the school, but they have done very little about it. I’ve also contacted the boy’s mother, but she says she can’t control him. This intimidating behaviour has been going on for months. What do you suggest?” Roz, 39, mum to Chloe, 15.

A “There are laws prohibiting the use of a carriage service (telephone, internet, post) to cause offence – either to harass, menace or threaten. Because this is an offence, you can go to the police with a complaint about this behaviour.

The school probably also has a responsibility to address the situation, as it is affecting the wellbeing of a member of the student population in a serious way. It’s worth keeping a copy of the posts and other messages and speaking about them to the school Principal in connection with the school’s internet, cyber-safety and cyber-bullying policies. These policies are likely to have provisions whereby the boy’s behaviour can be addressed. Many schools have a restorative process to try to solve such unhappy relationship issues.

Your daughter can also block the young man and remove him from her friendship list and report the behaviour to Facebook via their reporting function.”

What is bullying?

According to the National Centre Against Bullying, an initiative of The Alannah and Madeline Foundation, bullying is defined as “when an individual or a group of people with more power, repeatedly and intentionally cause hurt or harm to another person or group of people who feel helpless to respond. Bullying can continue over time, is often hidden from adults, and will probably continue if no action is taken.” This is a frightening reality for any child and parent.

Dealing with bullies…

The NCAB sees bullying as “a relationship problem which requires relationship-based solutions” and advises that “these are best solved in the social environment in which they occur. In a child or young person’s life, this is most often the school.” This means the place to start is in the environment where it occurred.

The Alannah and Madeline Foundation is a national charity protecting children from violence and its devastating effects. For more information on bullying, visit www.amf.org.au

Brave, Honest, Raw: Watch This Anti-Bulllying Rap And Share It’s Message
This amazing teen duo, Bars and Melody (aka London lads Charlie Lenehan and Leondre Devries), rapped about their bullying experience on Britain’s Got Talent. They blew away the judges, audience and millions worldwide with their brave, raw, honest performance. It sends a powerful message to bullies and those physically and emotionally affected by them.

Watch it, listen to the words, absorb the message and share it with all your friends – the more people who hear their message the better and safer our children will be.

Need more help?

Great Australian resources for parents can be found at:

If your child needs to speak to someone about their experience Kids Helpline is Australia’s only free, private and confidential, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged between 5 and 25, Kids Helpline can be contacted on 1800 551 800.

For more anti bullying tips click here.

Credits

Produced by Protein
Created & Written by Galvin Scott Davis.
Illustrated by Anthony Ishinjerro.
Music by Hylton Mowday
Narration by Linal Haft 
Animation by Marvinsane, animation assist Dale Emrose.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

By Franki Hobson

Writer

Franki Hobson has worn many hats during her many years as a women's lifestyle journalist and editor. Her launching pad was COSMOPOLITAN magazine, where she moved from News & Entertainment Editor to Features Director, covering everything from the legalisation of the Morning After Pill to Gwen Stefani, fashion, beauty, sex, health, fitness, entertainment and relationships. Franki Hobson is a contributing lifestyle writer for The Carousel.

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