Given the importance of a happy marriage, it is somewhat ironic that it is one of the few things that is not ‘taught’ at school. Most people learn about marriage from their grandparents and parents, and they lived in a very different world from the one we inhabit now.
Baba Richard and Sri Namaste Moore— collectively known as The Infinite Couple, advise that to succeed in the art of marriage, there are some basics such as communication, honesty and forgiveness that need to be adhered to and respected.
Here are their top 5 elements to help you build a long-lasting marriage
1. Polarity, not Conformity
Today, there’s an increase in conflict between gender roles. In marriage, the differences between the masculine and the feminine should be respected and celebrated, not erased or balanced. Marriage should be about where your perspectives converge.
Women and men both bring different strengths to the table. “Women and men both bring different strengths to the table. We need to look at this as a positive rather than try to eliminate our differences or blur these lines into sameness or homogeneity,” Baba Richard advises.
In contrast to what is rampant today, there shouldn’t be any competition between the masculine and the feminine, but a perfect understanding of each other’s roles and position. You need these two polar energies of the masculine and feminine to create a unified entity. Today’s world doesn’t honour these two opposite energies and instead, puts them against each other.
The differences between the masculine and the feminine are dynamic and essential forces in creating long-lasting relationships and wealth.
2. Solid Communication
As a couple, communication is of the essence.
Most misunderstandings often come from a place of communication breakdown or inability to pass the right message across. Patiently learn what is being conveyed by the other person, instead of projecting your own subjective meaning. Be objective, lower your defences. Give your partner room to communicate their intent, perspectives, or ideas.
“Communication means a lot more than just talking. It means ‘to connect’. The majority of communication isn’t done through words, it’s done through body language, tone of voice, and behaviour. This is why communication exercises – which we call ‘communication praxis’ are crucial. Praxis means practice and what you practice you get better at,” Baba Richard says.
It’s important to understand that men and women cannot speak the same language. Men don’t communicate the same way that women do, and vice-versa. Both sexes need to understand each others’ language, and not try to force one to speak the other’s language.
This is an important ingredient if you really want your marriage to last. You have to be honest in everything you do in your marriage. Keep it transparent.
If you choose to be dishonest, your spouse is robbed of the opportunity to truly love you. Honesty encourages growth and builds a depth and foundation to marriage that cannot be easily replicated. This creates trust and stability in the long run.
In marriage, it’s very likely that your partner will do something that you don’t like. However, don’t hold grudges against them. Find a way to forgive them and move on. When you hold grudges against your partner, you’ll become bitter and resentful. Find a way to ease out whatever you’re feeling and move past it. This is in the best interest of you, your partner, and your marriage.
5. Create Safety
It’s crucial to break the chain of separate lives and survival archetypes within the construct of marriage. Provide ways to make your partner feel secure and safe. Let them know you’re in for the long haul regardless of what comes your way.
After 18 successful years together, The Infinite Couple has been able to harness their experience to create a well-rounded family, and also help other couples find a path to love, growth, togetherness, and spiritual alchemy.
Having a potent marriage starts with you and your partner. Don’t give in to “trends” or what seems like the “norm” if you know it won’t work for your marriage. Be you. Be different. Devote time and attention to your marriage and your significant other as well.