Fear of heights, scared of small spaces or the thought of going on a date makes you want to throw up… Well, you’re not alone! For many, a simple fear can create anxiety and left alone, can turn into a full-blown phobia. It sounds crazy I know, but living this way is by no means an easy feat.
Let’s look at dating – whether you’re all loved up or not at the moment, we’ve all been on first dates. That shot of adrenaline running through your body and your nerves begin to play. Sounds pretty normal and expected right, but when you go past that point to the extreme that your anxiety wrestles with your digestion and your first plan of attack (when on the date) is to be on the scan for the nearest bathroom in your proximity for ‘just in case’ – now that changes the dynamic of being relaxed and enjoying yourself. You’ll start to avoid what makes you feel not in control, what you consider a loss of control.
So how do you fix it and where do you start?
Here is where Hypnotherapy can change the way your mind triggers your feelings and physical reactions. It’s all about shifting how you’ve experienced situations in the past and how you remember them. Hypnosis deals with all the autopilot reactions and habits that we have without realising them. If you look at anxiety with dating, you may have had a terrible first date that impacts every other first date moving forward. It’s as if you’ve been imprinted as the only memory of a first date hence the body reacting so dramatically out of your control.
Hypnosis has the ability to gently access the subconscious mind, where all these imprints and experiences are documented and logged. The subconscious is quite amazing in itself and when in protection mode, trying to keep us from (what it considers) a danger zone, it uses triggers to steer us away from repeating those experiences. Now throwing up is a good trigger to keep you from wanting to go on first dates and then the pattern is set. By accessing the subconscious mind via hypnosis, you’re able to change a panic pattern and reset it with thoughts and feelings of something more pleasurable and inviting to do.
What to expect in a session?
The first thing that will happen is you’ll discuss when the phobia originally started and what was going on in your life (in other areas) at that time. Then the hypnotherapist will shift the conversation towards how you’d like to feel and think whilst on a date, what thoughts would you like running through your mind and what sensations you’d like to feel in your body. You may be asked to remember and share some good experiences where you really enjoyed yourself and felt safe, relaxed with a sense of freedom. What they’re looking for here is how to overlap a negative experience with a positive one.
Think of it this way, it is like watching a movie that’s been filmed using one camera and one angle only. You don’t get to see if from different perspectives and from other point of views. It’s kind of one dimensional and fixed. Now imagine using many cameras, zooming in and having a narration sharing the characters thoughts and feeling while watching the interaction. It opens up possibilities and insights to what’s going on, how it feels for others and takes the pressure of having to work it out all by yourself. This is what hypnotherapy does to change an experience in your thoughts and feelings of how your first date actually went. It gives you a bigger picture and removes that negative imprint so you’re more relaxed and open about dating in general. What once triggered you has moved way into the background, leaving you open for new and better experiences with dating. When dealing with high anxiety and phobias, have it in your mind you’ll need up to three sessions to really wipe away that negative impact that once held you hostage.
Once the hypnotherapist has all the information they need, then it’s time for you to sit back, drift off and let the wordsmith begin it their magic by rebalancing a past experience.
So, forget about full-blown anxiety accompanying you on your first date with you scouting the closest bathrooms. Sure, nerves can come into the picture but good nerves, lets you know you’re alive and at the moment so that dating doesn’t become a fear, it turns into excitement and an enjoyable experience.
Author: Simone Lee simonelee.com