Family Dynamics By Star Signs: How Compatible Are You Really?

Family Dynamics By Star Signs
Hedy Damari


Jul 23, 2020

 Interested in your Family Dynamics By Star Signs? Some family members just click while the dynamics between others can be strained and tempestuous.

Okay, you may not be able to change the personality traits of an overbearing sister, pernickety mother or that relative who always succeeds in rubbing you up the wrong way but understanding what drives them, at least on an astrological level, will breed the tolerance needed to navigate problems. Let’s look at two major significant astrological factors that, apart from individual stars signs and placements, play a significant role in family dynamics – the elements (fire, earth, air and water) and modalities (cardinal, fixed and mutable).


The first subgroup we’ll explore is the ‘elements’ of which there are four – fire, earth, air and water. The signs belonging to these groups tend to take on the characteristics of the element which are largely responsible for an individual’s temperament and motivation.

Fire: Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

As the element suggests, fire signs are a great source of warmth and light, but they can also be extremely volatile. Exuberant, passionate and motivated, fire signs are the ‘doers’ of the zodiac who prefer to take the initiative rather than wait for life to happen. Blessed with confident, dynamic personalities they have a natural talent for boosting morale and getting things done, particularly in a group capacity, and are usually the impetus behind family decisions and actions. From an assertive Aries to a charismatic Leo or exuberant Sagittarius they are the extroverts of the zodiac and are the first to make an introduction or conquer new ground. While their enthusiasm is infectious their zealous behaviour can, inadvertently or not, make them bossy and overbearing. Passionate fire signs also enjoy a bit of drama and in the absence of excitement they will go out of their way to create some. Having such an intrepid nature they like to take risks, which compels them to rush in without giving too much thought to their actions. Similarly, fire signs can speak without thinking and while they can always be counted on for an honest opinion sometimes the delivery is brutal. However, amid the tactlessness, impatience and at times impetuous behaviour is an admirable lust for life, generosity of spirit and fierce loyalty.

Earth: Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn

Earth signs are imparted with the qualities symbolised by their element – they are down to earth, grounded and modest. Pragmatic and somewhat conservative they need structure and routine in order to feel safe and whether a practical Taurus, analytical Virgo or determined Capricorn they approach life with caution and careful planning. Unlike spontaneous fire and air, earth signs dislike surprises or being put on the spot. Nor are they overly fond of change so they tend to be very organised, preferring the safe confines of their safety zone to the unknown. Patient, calm and steadfast they are reliable as a Swiss watch, the voice of reason and a veritable rock of Gibraltar which is why loved ones turn to them during a crisis. However, their poised nature sometimes makes it difficult to gauge their emotions or prompt them to divulge their thoughts and feelings. Although earth is the element associated with materialism it usually doesn’t manifest in a superficial way. Yes, earth signs have sophisticated tastes but they loathe ostentation. Emotional stability is just as paramount as financial peace of mind and so they strive to create a comfortable existence free of money worries or drama. Earth signs are sensual and tactile, and while they may not be saccharine sweet they’re highly sentimental and affectionate in their own genuine way.

Air: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius

Like air, these folk are always shifting, changing and evolving. A state of flux may unnerve some but to inquisitive air signs movement is a chance for growth and exploration. Independent, spontaneous and open-minded they dislike restrictions and love the chance to broaden their horizons, literally as well as metaphorically, through new people, experiences and places. This isn’t just a passion – understanding their surrounding allows them to make sense of their existence. As the element associated with intellect and logic air signs rely heavily on reason. This innate objectivity enables them to make a fair appraisal but also intellectualises their feelings so they can seem emotionally detached at times. Their need for perpetual mental stimulation also makes them quite restless. Disarming Aquarians, vivacious Librans and sunny Geminis are all blessed with outgoing and naturally expressive personalities so they are highly sociable as well as good communicators. Air signs enjoy company and make the most of any opportunity to gain knowledge and exchange ideas through hearty, interesting conversation. They are very impartial by nature and aren’t dictated to by their emotions which often see them in the role of family mediator. Having such an upbeat disposition air signs are also great at diffusing tense situations and their optimistic take on life rarely fails to lift the spirits of loved ones.

Water: Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces

Turbulent ocean, flowing stream or deep well – water reflects the many states of the signs belonging to this element. Emotional and intuitive, water signs rely on instinct rather than logic and are acutely aware of the feelings, thoughts and pain of others. They are extremely sympathetic and will often put other people’s needs ahead of their own which can manifest as martyrdom, particularly among parents. Water signs have immense insight into human nature so trying to hide something from them is futile. Mothers in particular, know their children inside out and have remarkable built-in sensors that automatically detect when they are troubled. Similarly, even the youngest water sign child will pick up on the slightest bit of tension and instinctively be more gentle and affectionate when a parent or sibling is upset. Water signs can always be counted on for emotional support, sound advice and a sympathetic ear. However, they can become quite irritated when others aren’t sensitive to their own needs or aware that they are upset, and given that their self-expression can be quite subtle, truly knowing a water sign is a lengthy learning process, however worthwhile. Whether a nurturing Cancer, intense Scorpio or a perceptive Pisces there’s nothing much about them that’s frivolous and while they can be unpredictably moody they are also playful, affectionate and humorous.

This goes with that?

Air and Fire

These elements traditionally indicate an easy connection. Both are spirited, fun-loving and outgoing so the combination usually spells excitement, mischief and motion. With fire instilling determination and confidence a Leo, for example, will encourage a Libran to have faith in their abilities. Air, in turn, knows how to handle the volatile nature of fire signs which is why a cool Aquarian can keep an Aries in line while avoiding a heated exchange. Occasionally fire may feel that air is too aloof while air can find fire’s passionate temperament to be overwhelming. Even though the two go about life differently they can easily relate.

Earth and water

In the realms of nature, water and earth mutually benefit each other and so the relationship between these family members is usually strong and effortless. Earth signs have the patience to cope with the moods and complexities of water. Water, in turn, provides emotional support and a comfortable environment for earth signs to air their feelings. However, a Taurus, for example, may become irritated by a Scorpio’s sensitivity while a Pisces will see a Virgo as being too uptight, but the cons are minimal. Water signs compel earth to be more perceptive and compassionate while earth provides water with stability and calm.

Fire and water

Fire and water make steam! Both are passionate and prone to volatile, erratic behaviour but the similarities end there. A fire sign can be confused by the enigmatic nature of water while their ‘larger than life’ disposition will sometimes prove exhausting to water. An Aries parent may become frustrated with a touchy Cancer child, while a Scorpio child will be overwhelmed by the magnitude of a Sagittarian parent’s personality. However, fire signs will uplift water with their playful attitude and instill them with confidence. Water signs reciprocate with a mellowing influence and teach fire to be more empathetic and selfless.

Air and earth

Both share a droll sense of humour, delicate sensibilities and distaste for drama. However, practical earth can find air’s unpredictable nature and frenetic energy to be trying. Air meanwhile, thinks earth is rigid and their measured pace excruciating. Air lives in a world of ideas, whereas earth deals with the tangible so an inventive Aquarian will see constructive criticism from a pragmatic Taurus father as raining on their parade. Conversely, a Virgo child will become unsettled by a Libran parent’s indecisiveness. On the positive side, earth can teach air the value of commitment while air can encourage earth to be more spontaneous.

Fire and earth

These two are opposite elements so it’s bound to be challenging. A fire sign’s spontaneous attitude is diametrically at odds with earth’s cautious approach. It’s likely an adventurous Sagittarius child may feel stifled by a play-it-safe Virgo parent. Similarly, a measured Taurus child will resent being rushed by a gung-ho Aries parent. There are, however, plenty of bonuses. A fire sign’s joie de vivre will encourage an earth sign to embrace new experiences and welcome rather than fear the unknown. Centred earth signs can provide a stable environment and help fire to fulfil their potential by teaching consistency, patience and focus.

Air and Water

Air and water are also opposite elements – air signs tend to be logical and verbal whereas water is intuitive and emotive – so there’s usually a lot of effort involved. A Scorpio parent will at times be intolerant of a Gemini child’s chatter. Similarly, an Aquarius won’t relate to the sentimental nature of a Cancer. However, these family members can have a beneficial and balancing influence on each other. Air signs can teach water to experience life without being bogged down by their emotions. Water, in turn, can encourage air to be emotionally expressive rather than objectify their feelings.

Birds of a Feather

The same elements usually have an easier time of it simply because there’s an intrinsic understanding of each other. Air sign family members often share a quirky sense of humour, upbeat temperament and curiosity. A Gemini parent will relish answering the probing questions of an Aquarian child and fostering their inquisitive mind while there’s bound to be plenty of laughter, mischief and chatter between parents and amid siblings. The environment between two grounded earth signs is also relatively effortless. A Capricorn parent and Taurus child will revel in each other’s company without the need for too much verbal communication, and there’s likely to be less squabbling among earth siblings. When it comes to water signs or fire signs though emotions tend to run high. While there’s a tacit understanding between them and the wonderful ability to intuit each other’s needs water signs are prone to sulky stand-offs. A Scorpio might become annoyed by Pisces’ heightened sensitivity; Pisces may find Cancer to be overbearing while Cancer will battle with a Scorpio’s intensity and lack of communication. On a good day life is one big adventure for passionate, enthusiastic and big-hearted fire signs. However, when an opinionated Sagittarius, straightforward Aries or feisty Leo disagree there’s likely to be pyrotechnics, and not the New Year’s Eve variety. As long as there is compromise and an effort to avoid bad behavioural patterns the pros usually outweigh the cons.


This is another astrology classification that further characterises and adds another dimension to the dynamics and compatibility of sun signs. This group consists of three subdivisions – cardinal, fixed and mutable – and each contains four signs. The modalities describe an individual’s attitude towards life, approach situations and modus operandi.

Cardinal Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn

Enterprising and action-oriented, cardinal signs are born leaders. They like to take the initiative and are unafraid to test their abilities even if it means they may not initially succeed. Cardinal signs are great team players provided they’re at the helm! Yes, they can be very domineering, particularly go-getting fire sign Aries. Rams are, however, intrepid, loyal and great trouble-shooters. Air sign Librans are the least dominating and tend to charm their way into executive family positions as they are diplomatic and good listeners. Water sign Cancers too are more inclined to use subtle suggestion rather than brute force but can be bossy when their emotions take over. Productive and driven earth sign Capricorns simply get on with it so the role of leader is relegated to them without anyone really noticing. Cardinal parents relish the responsibility of being head of the family and take their role very seriously. However, their good intentions can often repel other family members who feel coerced into doing something they don’t want to whether it’s participating in a game of Scrabble or burying the hatchet with a relative. At the end of the day though they are the glue that binds the family and their well-meaning efforts are usually appreciated.

Fixed Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius

As the word suggests fixed are, well, fixed. They are set in their ways and like things to be consistent. This can make them incredibly stubborn and unwilling to listen to advice. They dislike taking risks mainly due to fear of failure but they have immense patience and perseverance, so once they have a target they won’t stop until they fulfil their objectives. Earthy Taureans like to do things at their own pace, laboring long and hard to see the end result of their toil. Fire sign Leos are very creative and don’t mind new experiences as long as they are prepared so they can make an optimal impact. Watery Scorpios have immense resilience and stamina which allows them to weather the fiercest storms and see things through to the bitter end. With their love anything novel and loathing of conformity Aquarians seem an unlikely candidate. However, while they themselves may be erratic they like everything around them to be consistent. Fixed signs are the backbone of the family and while they can be seen as unyielding and stagnant at times they are the most dependable. Loyal, dedicated and diligent, fixed signs will do whatever it takes to create a stable environment for their family.

Mutable Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces

The signs of this subgroup are so named because they extremely versatile. Mutable signs welcome change seeing it as an opportunity to gain knowledge and experience with their inherent flexibility and chameleon-like nature allowing them to adjust to any given situation. They are also the most accommodating, obliging and compromising of the modalities. Air sign Geminis are highly communicative effortlessly striking up conversations and expressing themselves with wit and eloquence. Earth sign Virgos are pragmatic and organised. They like routine but will go with the flow when need be. Fire sign Sagittarians are optimistic, energetic and can always be counted on to boost spirits. Water sign Pisceans are very intuitive using their heightened perception to sense situations and adapt accordingly. While mutable signs are experts at acclimatising they have a tendency to take the path of least resistance. Mutable signs are known as team players, not chiefs. Ironically though, they lead the way when it comes to change by showing loved ones not to fear new developments and helping them settle in. While mutable signs dislike conflict these family members have the ability to see all sides of the story which is why they are the ones to mediate clan differences and keep things flowing smoothly.

Modality dynamics

When it comes to modality combinations, one isn’t necessarily easier than the other – there are pros and cons for each. Being so focused and ambitious cardinal signs may find mutable signs are too easy-going and lacking in direction. Mutable signs on the other hand will view cardinal signs as being too are bossy and, at times, full of bravado. However a mutable Pisces could teach a cardinal Capricorn to relinquish control and lighten up while an Aries will succeed in getting a Virgo to move forward and focus on the end result rather than getting bogged down in details. Cardinal and fixed signs are likely to lock horns over change. The stubbornness of a fixed sign means it’s likely they will cut off their nose to spite their face, so for instance, if a cardinal Cancer has a sound suggestion or way of doing something a fixed Leo will dig their heels in if the Cancer is being pushy. However, once cardinal back offs and makes fixed feel needed their vision and stamina will complement each other perfectly.

Fixed and mutable signs have very different approaches to life – one goes with the flow while the other cements themselves to the spot, and so a mutable Sagittarius is likely to be disappointed by a fixed Taurean’s inability to see the possibilities provided by change and chance. A fixed Scorpio, meanwhile, will be frustrated by a Gemini’s inability to commit or a Piscean’s lack of endurance. However, a fixed sign can provide a mutable sign with a stable point of reference so they don’t get too carried away while mutable can show fixed signs the merit in letting go and being open to possibilities. With two mutable signs there’ll be less motivation and a degree of disorganisation. However if they work as a team and assign each other roles and tasks they can make amazing progress. Two fixed signs are likely to show a similar lack of progress not through dampened motivation but unwillingness to change. However, when you have two fixed signs working towards a common goal their immense stamina makes them unstoppable. More than one cardinal sign will often vie for supremacy but if they capitalise on their respective strengths and support, not steamroll each other they make a formidable team.

Perfect Baby Name By The Stars
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By Hedy Damari


Hedy Damari is an astrologer, writer and author. She was the editor and features writer of Your Destiny magazine for eight years and star columnist for Good Health. She is the current astrologer for TV Week, Yours and the online astrologer for Australian Cosmopolitan. Hedy has written three astrology annuals for Woman’s Day and is a regular contributor for Cosmo Pregnancy, New Idea, Woman’s Day and Wellbeing Astrology. Hedy has written two books - Absolute Astro and Absolute Love Astro (Park St Press). Hedy’s monthly stars appear on her website


9 thoughts on “Family Dynamics By Star Signs: How Compatible Are You Really?

  1. Extremely interesting analysis of star signs with not just a token of truth but a mind tingling one. Great work. Jacqueline

  2. I’ve always thought it was interesting that my family of 6 people, mum (libra) dad (aquarius) brothers (libra and gemini) sister (libra) and myself (aquarius) all belong to air signs. Does this mean something about our family dynamic?

  3. You have depicted family dynamics so well, extremely easy to understand. Your post inspired me a lot and right now committing myself that will spend more time with my daughters.

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