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What Do You Tell Your Son When He Asks About Sex?

Sonya Karras: What Do You Tell Your Son When He Asks About Sex?

Sonya Karras describes the scene in the car when her son asked about sex? Here’s how the conversation in the car this week goes….

‘See all those beautiful white fluffy things floating around Stevie?’

‘Yes Mumma.’

‘They remind me of your Uncle Kristian, he would have loved you so much. I miss him. Wish he was here to play with you and love you.’

‘Where is he Mumma?’

‘He went to Heaven before you were born.’

Long pause….

‘Where is the born shop Mum?’

‘Hahaha, well there is no such thing, you came out of Mummy’s tummy.’

‘EEEEEWWWWWWW that’s gross!’

He’s three.

Now this brings up the conversation of when and how to tell my children about procreation.

How do I do this without traumatising the kid?

One of my friends said her conversation with her son fluctuated from interest, to horror to complete mortification to laughter and then back again. She said they spent most of the time laughing. To me, that would be an utter win!

Many of us will remember when you were sheepishly given a copy of “Where did I come from?” as your parent awkwardly sidled away hoping to never have to speak of this again.

There was a firm nod and a hope that all the necessary knowledge had been imparted.

Job’s done, move on. Pardon the pun.

Or worse, your Mum was a nurse (like mine) and wanted to know if I had any questions, if I needed some time, how I was feeling..

How was I feeling?

FREAKING FREAKED OUT, OK?

Suddenly you’re telling me those bits I used for a wee and occasionally banged onto the cross bar on my bike and winded myself were actually used for THAT???  And that bit on the boys had to go in THERE???

#WTF

So clearly I still have some issues. Don’t worry, I’ll get therapy.

So how do we educate our little people about the act of sex without the need for extended therapy when they are older?

Go age appropriate. My three year old is told the Doctor took the baby out of my stomach in the hospital. It’s working for now. I’ll keep that up until he’s 27 and we will be fine.

No – seriously.. He doesn’t need to know all the (ahem) ins and outs just yet.

As for the eight year old, well he’s coming home with some words I need to start explaining. For now when he says the word sex, I ask him, “What is that?”

‘Oh you know, movie kissing Mum’. But he says it with a twinkle in his eyes and I know he’s not really letting on about the sex stuff his friends have been talking about on the soccer oval.

So I think I will do this..

I will be honest and open and bring it up when we are relaxed and I feel like we’ve got a good vibe going on.

I will make him feel like I’ve made him privy to a special secret that he can’t talk about with his younger brother or his friends because they’re not old enough yet.

I will make him feel like he’s very mature and can handle this information. I will tell him that it’s really special and he will need to treat his partner with Respect and love.

I want my son to know that when he is intimate with someone, (deep breath – eventually), it will be amazing and lovely and that’s how babies are made.

I’ll leave the messy, fumbling, awkward, where’s the bloody condom, truth until he’s a bit older.

Now after all that adulting and parenting. I need a drink

How will you do it?

Sonya Karras

Written by Sacha Kaluri

Sacha Kaluri, now a mother of two young boys, is a leading youth expert and speaker. She started running a successful business at the age of 18 years old.

In 2000 she began travelling Australia speaking to young people about how to have career dreams, bullying, stress management and body image, visiting more than 170 schools, councils and juvenile detention centres each year. Sacha brings education and comedy to her presentations.

2011 Sacha became co founder and the co-director of the Australian Teenage Expo and has also been on the board of ChildWise since 2011.

In 2014 Sacha Kaluri and her business partner Sonya Karras were chosen as Australia’s very first official ambassadors for the world wide United Nations - Women’s Entrepreneurship Day.

Sacha will be regularly sharing her stories of youth and teenagers on The Carousel.

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